Islamic State calls for the beheading of all ‘Climate Change deniers’

During Friday’s jummah prayers Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, leader of the Islamic State, called for a holy war against climate change deniers. The Islamic State joined with the 200 nations at the COP 21 Paris Climate Summit.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Caliph of the Islamic State.

Al-Baghdadi stated, “Those who deny climate change must be dealt with as is required by the Qu’an. They must feel the wrath of Allah and his prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him.”

Praising the work done by President Obama, al-Baghdadi went on to state, “Muslims have a sacred duty to follow President Obama in stopping climate change. We Muslims have shown our love of the planet by reducing the carbon footprint of Jews and Christians globally. We have been in the fight against climate change for 1400 years. We welcome the support from those at COP 21 who understand that the only way to reduce carbon emissions is to reduce the world population. After all its the Jews and Christians who have defiled the earth with their carbon spewing hatred.”

President Obama welcomed the Muslim communities support of his efforts to reduce carbon emissions, particularly in Paris, Mali and San Bernardino, California.

In support of COP 21 and President Obama the Islamic State has issued a Fatwa calling for the extermination of all non-Muslim carbon based humans, beginning with those in Israel. The Islamic State noted that Israel is the largest producer of carbon emissions due to its booming economy and successful business climate. The Islamic State warned, “Israel and the American polluters of our planet must be brought to justice for their crimes against mother earth,”

Pope Francis called this initiative proof that Islam is the religion of peace. The Sierra Club noted on its website that, “the Islamic State is a welcome partner in stopping climate change. Once all non-Muslim carbon based being are eliminated terrorism will end.” The Hillary Clinton campaign in a press release stated, “We welcome the Islamic State to the fight against global warming and those who deny that it is real. Reality is what we say it is, not what science tells us.”

Key members of the Sierra Club, environmental movement and President Obama’s administration have now converted to Islam in the name of saving the planet and their behinds.

The Islamic State also called for gun control. Non-Muslims must not be allowed to own any firearms. The Islamic State media arm noted, “The prophet President Obama, peace be upon him, has called for stronger gun control laws in the United States. We support his efforts to disarm Christians, Jews and all those who oppose Islam.”

EDITORS NOTE: This column is political satire, or is it?

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