Hillary’s new book — ‘How I Learned to Love Muslims Who Hate America’

hillary loving muslims who hate americaThe Hillary Clinton campaign in  a press release announced that Mrs. Clinton will be publishing a new book to be released on September 11th, 2016 titled “How I learned to Love Muslims Who Hate America.”

“Her book will tell the truth about the American Muslim community”, according to unnamed sources. The press release noted that Mrs. Clinton believes that those Americans who cling to their religion and guns misunderstand Muslims in America, who also cling to their religion and guns. This new book will show “how hating America is not all bad.”

A Hillary campaign spokesperson was asked if President Obama was a Muslim and if he provided input to her new book. The spokesperson stated:

As for President Obama being a Muslim, what difference does it make?

President Obama is a fellow traveler and understands that the Muslim vote is critical to the Democratic Party. Everything that President Obama has done to appease Muslims, President Hillary Clinton will do much, much more. President Obama’s foreign policy of appeasement will become President Hillary’s foreign policy of total surrender.

Mrs. Clinton’s first action after being sworn in will be Executive Order 9-11-2017, which will disarm all non-Muslims and allow all practicing Muslims to purchase their weapon(s) of choice without a background check.

Mrs. Clinton learned to love Muslims and hate America after the attack in Benghazi on September 11th, 2012. Hillary understood then that making a movie defaming the prophet Mohammed was wrong headed and led to Muslim hate for America. When president Mrs. Clinton will ban all movies with the name Mohammed, may peace be upon him, in them and all books that defame the prophet will be burned.

Muslim lives matter. Can’t we just all get along?

Iraqi Muslim refugee Omar Faraj Saeed Al Hardan who was arrested in Texas on terror charges issued a short statement from his prison cell:

I want to blow myself up … I am against America. I will be voting for Hillary from prison and will work with my fellow Muslims to elect her president, that is unless I blow myself up before November 8th. LOL

Ali Khamenei, Iran’s Supreme Leader, issued the following statement:

We can feel the love from Hillary. She would make a great President and look forward to her converting to Islam. Only then can we Muslims truly embrace her as our ally. The great Satan (America) needs someone like Hillary in power, until that day when we conquer America and establish a new Islamic Caliphate.

We ask all Muslims to vote Hillary in 2016! #MuslimLivesMatter, #VoteHillary2016.

Bill Clinton while on the campaign trail, “Hillary would look fantastic in a burka. I look forward to our converting to Islam. Under Islam I can have up to four wives. Under Muslim law I can rape Western women without consequences and as a Muslim convert I can have as many concubines as I wish. What else could a man want? Allah Akbar!”

Monica Lewinsky when asked if she would consider being Bill Clinton’s concubine had no comment.

The Caliph of the Islamic State was asked for a statement on Hillary’s new book, but he was unavailable at the time of the publishing of this article. However, a short statement indicated that Hillary’s book will be reviewed in a future issue of the Islamic States’ Inspire Magazine.

The publisher notes that advanced orders for Hillary’s new book have sky rocked in places like Dearborn, Michigan, San Bernardino, California and the Middle East.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared on the former Al Jazeera America network.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *