Hillary Breaks Glass Ceiling – Thousands Injured

In what is being called the worst political disaster in American history, Hillary Rodham Clinton broke the glass ceiling on Tuesday night, injuring thousands at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia.

Those in attendance at the Democratic National Convention little suspected that nominating Clinton would result in catastrophe. The evening’s events began innocently enough with a montage of the first 43 presidents on a large video monitor above the podium. Suddenly the face of Hillary Clinton appeared via live video feed, emerging through flying shards of glass. As the first rows of conventioneers reeled back from the stage with multiple lacerations, Hillary’s booming cackle filled the convention hall:

“What an incredible honor that you have given me. I can’t believe we just put the biggest crack in that glass ceiling yet!”

The rest of her speech was drowned out by the screams of delegates as the glass ceiling of the Wells Fargo Center collapsed on them.

Throughout the night emergency medical services carefully picked their way through the glass-strewn convention floor, rescuing and treating the wounded. Bill Clinton also gave a speech.

One of the injured was MSNBC’s Chris Matthews who commented that Hillary’s announcement had given him another thrill up his leg. However he realized it was just a phantom thrill when he looked down and saw that his leg had been severed above the knee by a piece of falling glass.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Chairman Meow originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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