WikiLeaks: President Hillary to use ‘gender-oppressive’ title

A new WikiLeaks dump of emails from the People’s Democratic National Committee has revealed that our comrade Hillary Clinton may be considering a gender-oppressive title “Mother” (or “Mr.” for short) after she is elected, despite the Party’s long-standing efforts to drop “Mr.” from all official titles, including that of the U.S. President.

A Party consensus has already been settled that the oppressive “Mr.” has no place in describing our country’s leaders. The title “Mister President,” for example, inadvertently puts all males on equal footing with the President, above all various groups of non-males. So it is surprising that instead of trying to find a gender-neutral title, Hillary Clinton is willing to perpetuate a gender-specific one (albeit filling the word “Mr.” with a different content). This is particularly disturbing at a time when the Party struggles to remove gender-specific terms like “mother” and “father” from official birth certificates and replace them with the more equal term, “parent.”

Trigger Warning: Stop reading now if you are easily triggered.

The following is the email exchange between Hillary Clinton and one of her top advisors:

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On Friday, August 12, 2016, Kim Jong Un < Sexykim1001@star-co.net.kp > wrote:

From: Sexykim1001@star-co.net.kp
To: hdr22@clintonemail.com
Date: 2016-08-12 01:05
Subject: Re: barrowin your title

Bae-

You know my lawyers can’t allow you to use the “Dear Leader” title because of copyright violations. Why not use the name we came up with on teh phone the other night? I really like “Mother Dearest Leader”. I mean, like I’m the father of North Korea and you can be the Mother of the United States, know what I’m sayin?

BTW- that stuff I sent you is really strong (it kept my father alive for at least 7 years longer than if he would have lived with your condition). Use it carefully. Don’t like use it on hot days when yo have to get up early with little sleep or you might pass out or some sh*t. And if you get caught with that stuff, you don’t know me – know what I’m sayin?

Kimmie
Dear Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

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On Wednesday, August 10, 2016, Hillary Clinton < hdr22@clintonemail.com > wrote:

Kimmie,
Thx 4 that momma’s little helper u sent me it really helps im still trying 2 get u that enriched stuff u asked 4 but its hard w/ all the security around r nuclear stockpiles :‑( I wanted to ask u if u would mind if after this next election could I use the deer leader name hear in my country 😉

Let me know Hill

Ps. once I get in the oval office ill get u that stuff way easy 😎

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Could Hillary really be considering using the term “Mother Dearest Leader”? This author thinks it would be a slap in the face to all her fellow social justice warriors struggling for gender equality. In this author’s opinion “Dearest Leader” would be more than sufficient.

To be fair, it has been a long hard-fought campaign; Hillary and her top advisors have gotten little if any sleep over the past few months trying to combat all the attacks perpetrated by the Capitalist Right headed by Donald Trump. If anything, this shows the evilness of criminal Trump, whose relentless campaigning is directly responsible for the lack of sleep of our Dearest Leader.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Cagey B originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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