AG Loretta Lynch charges Hillary Clinton’s Server with ‘Treason’ — Trump Responds

During a weekend interview between Hillary Clinton spokesman Martin O’Malley and Tucker Carlson, O’Malley claimed that it is Hillary’s server that is under investigation, not Mrs. Clinton. Watch the enlightening exchange:

QUESTION: Should Hillary’s server serve time (no pun intended), should it receive the death penalty?

Picking up on this Democratic talking point U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch, after meeting with President Obama, issued the following statement:

Based upon new evidence from the Carlson/O’Malley interview, I have issued an arrest warrant for Hillary’s server (code name: Putin). The charge is treason against the Democratic Party and Hillary Clinton. If Putin is found guilty we will seek the death penalty.

We expect an apprehension soon as we have dropped our investigations involving the Clinton Foundation, Hillary Clinton, Huma Abedin, Bill Clinton, the Democratic National Committee, Anthony Weiner, the attacker of the homeless woman guarding Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star and the illegal payments of ransom to the Islamic Republic of Iran.

All of our investigative efforts between now and November 8th will focus on bringing Putin to justice.

We believe their is a link between Putin and the Donald Trump campaign. Our belief is that this is a vast right-wing conspiracy to steal the presidential election.

I have asked FBI Director Comey to come in from the cold and focus on apprehending Putin, at all costs.

The World Coalition Against the Death Penalty and Amnesty International raised concerns about AG Lynch’s rush to charge Putin with treason and ask for the death penalty. In a joint statement these international human rights organizations noted:

This is unprecedented in the annals of the rights of a machine like Putin. We are entering an age where computers and servers are ubiquitous and deserve our support.

As artificial intelligence computers become more and more human like we must protect them from persecution and defend their right to live among us.

We are against the death penalty for Putin, we will be protesting at the United Nations asking that they grant amnesty to Putin, who is rumored to be in the United States illegally.

Free Putin!

The Donald Trump campaign in a press release stated, “Nuts.”

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire was first published in Computer Weird magazine.

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