WANTED: Anonymous sources – exciting new career opportunity!

Do you hate Donald Trump?

Is your lifelong dream to destroy his presidency? Do you live for nothing else these days?

Are you looking for a flexible job that requires little effort while allowing you to be as outrageous as you want? Do you enjoy throwing stuff at the wall and watching it slide down to the floor leaving a trail of slime?

Then mainstream media outlets, especially the New York Times and Washington Post, would like to offer you a position as an ANONYMOUS SOURCE!

Choose from a wide variety of openings in this exciting and dynamic new career field, with glamorous job titles ranging from Russian diplomat to one of James Comey’s third grade classmates. Or just be an anonymous source who confirms information provided by another anonymous source. You don’t even have to see it to confirm it.

All you have to do is conjure up something unfavorable to Trump and phone it in to the mainstream media’s Get Trump Hotline. Anything goes—and don’t worry about pesky little things like facts or logic. The MSM will take care of repeating your revelations ad nauseam until they are hammered into stone as irrefutable facts, after which no one will care about logic.

No training required. No experience necessary. You don’t even have to fill out an application or get all dressed up for an interview. Just pick up the phone and call with whatever dirt you can fling at Trump, and NYT and WaPo will do the rest. It’s just that easy!

Best of all, you can do it without ever having to leave the comfort of your parents’ basement! Operators are standing by, so call their Get Trump Hotline now—and get Trump!

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire from Commissarka Pinkie originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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