Nearly 8 years after a terrible wreck left a man unable to communicate, his power of speech has returned. George Bush was 62 when the mainstream media derailed his presidency, which resulted in him and his entire administration going off a cliff and tumbling to the ground.
“For eight long years he didn’t speak a word,” said George’s brother, Jeb Bush. Though his family continued to talk to him, they had no idea whether he understood them. That eased a few days ago, when he began responding to questions with grunts and by blinking his eyes.
On a doctor’s advice, the family had tried art therapy, giving George paints and canvases. He started to paint, which allowed him to communicate with the world, even if non-verbally.
To everyone’s amazement, those were mostly pictures of dogs and cats, which made some wonder if George had anything meaningful to say even if he could communicate verbally. It didn’t help that George developed a liking for sniffing the paint thinner.
But in October this year George made a major advance. When Jeb walked into his room to sniff some of George’s paint thinner, George suddenly said his first word in eight years: “Trump!” According to Jeb, that took them both by surprise. “You could tell by the look on his face, his eyes were kind of big,” said Jeb.
Later that day George added “asshole” to his vocabulary. “He would not have talked dirty before he wrecked,” his mother Barbara said. The next day, when asked what other words he could say, George answered, “I can say anything.”
That was when, on October 19, the family took George to New York and asked him to read something before an audience. George showed a remarkable ability to read from the teleprompter, which sent the entire American media reeling with excitement. It was a speech written by one of George’s former speechwriters who had survived the 2008 crash with a minor scratch. The speech was broadcast on all major networks and became an international sensation in medical circles.
According to some neurologists, however, what George may be experiencing is a disorder known as selective mutism. “It is an anxiety disorder when a person who is normally capable of speech cannot speak in specific situations or to specific people,” said an insider who wished to remain anonymous.
“People with selective mutism stay silent even when the consequences of their silence include shame, social ostracism, or even punishment. This was obvious several years before the crash, when George lived in the White House and remained mute when his voters and supporters wanted him to speak up,” he said.
Some researchers speculate that selective mutism may be an avoidance strategy used by a subgroup of politicians with social anxiety disorder to reduce their distress in difficult situations that they do not fully understand. At the same time they display other communicative behaviors, such as hand clapping, waving, or hugging babies.
“Time will tell whether George’s eight-year-long muteness was caused by brain trauma or it was a strategy to avoid a situation where he was in over his head,” the source said.
Though George’s speech remains slow and labored, he loves to talk and his mother is very proud of him.
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by Red Square originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.