After calls for his impeachment by fifty-eight House Democrats CNN reports that multiple reliable unnamed FBI sources have confirmed that Donald Trump has plans to step down from the office as President of the United States, effective high noon on Monday, January 20, 2025.
Mitt Romney, Senators Jeff Flake and John McCain and the establishment GOP were stunned by this CNN breaking news.
Mitt Romney wrote a $100 donation check to the Flake for President campaign fund, while Senator Jeff Flake wrote a check to the Clinton Foundation and John McCain wrote a check to himself, which bounced.
MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough said on his Morning Joe program, “Good riddance to bad rubbish.” When asked if Mr. Scarborough was referring to his dementia-riddled mother or President Trump he responded with “no comment.”
Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (R-CA) issued the following statement:
We are pleased that the American people will be freed from the bonds of open markets, expanding job opportunites, a booming stock market and God loving President.
We can now return to an America that puts illegals into American jobs, expands welfare over work and brings insanity back to government.
This announcement saves us from impeaching Trump. Now we have a date certain that we can all as Democrats look forward to. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
In a short statement the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps stated, “Allah Akbar!.”
Former President Obama, after comparing populist President Donald Trump to Hitler and predicting hundreds of millions of Americans will die during an Economic Club of Chicago event noted, “Well at least this regime won’t be lasting 1,000 years. Punch a Fascist! Vote Democrat or else!”
Bill Clinton, during an interview on CNN about his sexual abuse of women compared to Al Franken’s groping, praised Trump’s decision to step aside. The former President noted, “Trump is doing the Constitutionally right thing by not seeking a third term as POTUS. Hillary in 2025!”
Hillary Clinton was not immediately available for comment as she was being interrogated by the FBI about the donation of 100 cases of Russian dressing to the Clinton Foundation by Uranium One, LLC. FISA authorized surveillance tapes of former President Clinton using the dressing in his bedroom on an intern have been leaked to Fox News’ Sean Hannity by an unnamed source. Hannity plans to release the video footage on Valentines Day 2018.
Today White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that she will be leaving her position on January 20th, 2025 to join the Food Channel. Her new show will be titled “Sarah’s Pies” or “How I baked the fakestream media.”
A trusted unnamed CNN source indicates that Al Franken is considering a run for the White House as an Independent in 2025 after being released from prison.
Recently elected Senator Roy Moore from Alabama is expected to throw his cowboy hat into the ring to take Trump’s place as POTUS 46, while holding a Bible and .38 caliber revolver.
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire is provided to those who want relief from the Trump administration and its fascist, hateful, misogynistic, Jew loving, Christ embracing and making America great, again, policies. The featured image is of Photo: Reuters.