Republican tax plan will kill you and destroy the planet

The Mayans were wrong. The world didn’t end in 2012, but it will end before 2018 because of a human catastrophe that not even the ancient Mayans saw coming – Donald Tr*mp.

Tr*mp is such a bumbling amateur politician that he’s actually keeping his campaign promises! Of course, this only further proves his underlying character flaws and mental instability which make him unfit to be the leader of the once free world.

Of all the promises he’s had the temerity to keep, none has been more destructive than his plan of “tax relief” for the wealthiest Americans. So much could be said, but let’s focus on the two worst aspects of how tax relief is bad for the middle class, bad for America, and bad for the planet.

First, more Americans will be allowed to keep more of what they’ve been conditioned by Fox “News” to perceive as their money. Never mind for now the ethical and moral issues of robbing the government, even though that’s one inevitable outcome, but think of what will happen if more Americans have more access to more money.

Americans will engage in riskier behaviors that they otherwise couldn’t afford like skydiving. When Obama was president, fewer Americans could skydive which meant fewer innocent people were at risk of being crushed by a falling octogenarian celebrating his 80th birthday. But now all that’s about to change. Unbiased studies indicate that over 1.3 million children are at risk every day of being struck by just such a human meteor, most of them underprivileged minorities, women, and transgendered.

More Americans will be put to work as paid wage slave laborers completely at the mercy of their corporate overlords who will demand punctuality and performance in order to get a “raise”. For each American put to work, there is one less American who will have the opportunity to discover the benefits of unemployment, to realize one’s artistic ability, to discover the cure for cancer. Such a loss hurts all of us.

But most affected will be Earth Mother. Unbelievably, there is going to be a reduction in corporate tax rates! As if it wasn’t bad enough that more money wrung from the bleeding lips of the widows and orphans goes into the coffers of large corporations. No, now there will be more corporations polluting our air and our water until Climate Change obliterates our globe. Again, women and minorities will be the most severely impacted by the destruction of our earth.

Perhaps Tr*mp’s removal of Climate Change from the list of national security threats could be excused by his low IQ, but no more. Now we see that he has ingeniously conspired with Russians and corporate CEOs to wreck the planet while he enjoys a cigar, plays a round of golf, and laughs maniacally.

Of course we should impeach Trump for his crimes against humanity, especially women and minorities, but with the passage of this tax bill, it may be too late.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Komissar al-Blogunov originally appeared in The Peoples Cube.

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