Entries by Oleg Atbashian

EEOC defines women’s perfume as non-verbal sexual assault

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), a federal agency that administers and enforces civil rights laws against workplace discrimination, has recently amended its guidelines on sexual harassment by adding women’s perfume as an especially hazardous subcategory of invisible sexual assault. Please amend your guidelines with the following insert. With definitive and clearly restrictive City, County, State […]

Democrats mourn the impending suicide of Donna Brazile

Democrat insiders have expressed their concern about the wellbeing of former Democratic National Committee Chair, Donna Brazile, stating that it is only a matter of time before she joins Vince Foster in taking her own life under suspicious circumstances. Brazile’s apparent suicidal ideation lead her to write “Hacks: The Inside Story of the Break-Ins and […]

Atheist murdered near Texas church; suspects charged

Sutherland Springs, TX — Residents Stephen Willeford and Johnnie Langendorff are being charged with multiple crimes including murder, weapons charges, reckless driving, and speeding following a shooting spree near a local church. On Sunday, Nov. 5, local police have stated the suspects attacked and wounded local atheist Devin Kelley near the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas. When […]

Unfair Ballistic Privilege

Tоварищи! I am so filled with self-loathing over my unfair ballistic-intuition male privilege that I must denounce myself. It is, after all, for the common good and the cause of gender hyper-equality! Report: Standing Up to Pee Gives Boys an Unfair Advantage in Physics What follows was actually published in a ‘scholarly’ journal: “After noting […]

Harvey Weinstein: Right-wing ‘conspiracy’ out to get me

Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein believes that accusations of sexual harassment on his part are part of a “Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy” to bring down the big donor to Democratic causes, according to the DailyMail.com. The Extreme Right-Wing New York Times is reporting that the founder of the Miramax film company has been accused of reaching at least eight settlements with women for […]

BREAKING: Study shows NFL protests linked to brain damage

ROCHESTER, New York – A groundbreaking new study by Mayo Clinic’s leading neurologist, Dr. Terrence Lachance, has shown results indicating a link between brain damage and compulsive unwarranted protesting. This news, in light of recent protests by NFL players, seems to be making sense to a lot of people, while leaving others dumbfounded. “My study conclusively […]

I denounce COEXIST bumper stickers

That is right, comrades! This classic symbol of liberal tolerance and celebration of diversity must go! It is no longer enough to be tolerant and all-inclusive. By celebrating all cultures and all people, we invite vipers into our midst. The idea of “coexistence” was useful when we were weak and our ideas needed to be […]

Trump retweets People’s Cube meme, media has seizures

Starting this Sunday morning the world’s most serious and respectable newspapers and magazines (see the impressive list below) have been having conniptions and reaching for smelling salts. Why? Because Donald Trump retweeted our silly animated GIF. If you are a regular at the People’s Cube, you may have seen this meme, which is only a funny metaphor of […]

Melania’s shoes now on our ‘Molon Labe’ T-shirts — Buy them online now!

This image first appeared on another thread, Melania Trump denounced by Vogue fashion editor. Due to an overwhelming positive response on social media, we have set up T-shirts with this design for online purchase. Customers have the ability to change shirt styles and colors, but please choose the lighter ones because the grays in the picture […]