WASHINGTON D.C. – Dr. Reichlinger, the Obama-appointed czar of mental health, has released a paper suggesting that conservatism may be a form of mental illness, describing the observable symptoms of various mental disorders that blend together to create a conservative. One such symptom, which resembles Tourette syndrome (TS), causes conservatives to blurt out racist, sexist, […]
In addition to offering 51 gender options to its users, Facebook is also changing its male, female, and group icons in order to bring more fairness and equality among the 51 aforementioned genders. Thus, instead of the female appearing behind the male’s shoulder, she is now in front of the male, which makes hers a more equal […]
We knew that Prague hosted a glorious Museum of Communism, but we didn’t realize those comrades were also good at generating original humorous propaganda similar to what is being heroically produced by the People’s Cube Department of Visual Agitation. The images were scattered all over the Internet, so the boys down in Visual Agitation spent quite […]
HOUSTON, TX – Smoke choked the streets of the city of Houston yesterday as Islamic protesters gathered to oppose the Supreme Court’s decision upholding gay marriage. Throughout the day members of the Muslim community prowled the city streets, tearing down LGBT flags from public buildings and private residences. A large pile containing hundreds of LGBT […]
Though months have passed since the Congressional Committee on Benghazi has subpoenaed Hillary Clinton’s personal email servers, only to discover that they had been wiped clean, a team of national top experts in retrieving deleted digital information has now been able to restore much of the lost data, which, in addition to the evidence on […]
Donors shocked by Hillary’s speech on pro-choice eugenics Jane, whose recollections of the fundraiser have been confirmed by other guests, says that Hillary Clinton blamed the impending overpopulation on “uneducated, lower-income families of everyday Americans who breed like rabbits without regard to the impact on society or the environment.” Quoting a leading American feminist and […]
Today the Vatican released a highly anticipated Papal encyclical containing a carefully worded prediction of the imminent destruction of Earth’s environment at the hands of wealthy countries and individuals. Titled “Laudato Si,” (“Be Praised”), the new encyclical leaves little doubt that its author, Pope Francis, is attempting to bridge the widening gap between the boring […]
Naomi Friedan, who teaches science in a Sacramento high school, has published a guest article in The Washington Post, arguing that her students shouldn’t learn about Isaac Newton because he’s a dead, white male with questionable political views. According to the teacher, she feels uncomfortable teaching Newton’s laws of motion, universal gravitation, optics, and calculus because […]
Immediately following her interview, in which Miley Cyrus confessed to being “the least judgmental person in the world” and “understanding and accepting of everyone,” she started her next show by setting a Bible on fire. In an opening act for her recent concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Cyrus walked out onto the stage […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA – The silver screen’s most elite names and faces gathered at a discrete location, to discuss their disastrous participation in Michael Bloomberg’s first annual Gun Violence Awareness Day on June 2nd. The stars had every reason to be concerned after their collective wearing of orange shirts to commemorate all those who have lost […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an early morning press conference with handpicked MSNBC reporters, President Obama privately announced reaching a deal between the U.S. and the People’s Republic of China, which will allow the Chinese Special Operations, an elite military unit, to guard the interior vaults containing the gold in Fort Knox, the U.S. bullion depository. […]
On May 12th, 2015 I was invited to speak alongside Governor Rick Perry at a Lincoln Dinner organized by Okaloosa Republican Executive Committee in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. I was supposed to warm up the crowd for the Honorable Rick Perry, but the order of appearances was switched at the last moment; Perry gave his keynote speech first, and […]
President Obama’s recent commencement speech at the Coast Guard Academy, in which he called climate change “a serious threat to national security” and linked bad weather to terrorism, revealed a pattern that some analysts say is very similar to the President’s earlier speeches, in which he linked terrorism and major security threats to quite different things and […]
STAGE 1: Identify the issue. Any Progressive can make an issue out of anything. That’s the Power of the People! Just name it and blame Republicans. Many issues never go beyond Stage 1 because they are so readily and widely embraced by the masses. Examples include free cell phones, free gas, and free Obama money […]
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