Entries by Oleg Atbashian

Clinton joins Stein in recount of Castro’s vital statistics

November 26, 2016 – Less than 24 hours after learning about the tragic and untimely death of progressive icon Fidel Castro, Hillary Clinton’s campaign said on Saturday it would be joining Green Party candidate Jill Stein in a recount of the former Cuban leader’s vital statistics. Marc Elias, the Clinton team’s general counsel, said the campaign […]

Cuba claims Trump’s election caused death of Fidel Castro

HAVANA – In the hours following the death of Fidel Castro, the Cuban government released an official statement blaming U.S. president-elect Trump for Castro’s demise. “The direct cause of the death of the celebrated leader of Cuban communist revolution was the “unthinkable election of the far-right capitalist reactionary criminal oligarch Donald J. Trump,” the statement […]

Obama to pardon cast of HAMILTON for cultural appropriation

As all of us on the progressive left already know, the racist hate crime of “cultural appropriation” is only to be enforced against those of the white male heterosexual persuasion. However, since the rigged electoral victory of November 8, 2016 and the pending hostile takeover of the American presidency by the fascist politically incorrect Donald […]

Why I Was Arrested & Thrown In Jail By @GeorgeMasonU Police For My Anti-Terror Campaign

As you may have heard, on November 4th I was arrested, handcuffed, and taken to jail for posting anti-terror stickers on the George Mason University campus. I was charged with a “class 6 felony for destruction of property,” threatened with five years in prison, and released 14 hours later on $8,000 bail posted by my […]

WikiLeaks: President Hillary to use ‘gender-oppressive’ title

A new WikiLeaks dump of emails from the People’s Democratic National Committee has revealed that our comrade Hillary Clinton may be considering a gender-oppressive title “Mother” (or “Mr.” for short) after she is elected, despite the Party’s long-standing efforts to drop “Mr.” from all official titles, including that of the U.S. President. A Party consensus […]

New scandal! Trump is heterosexual

KUBE EXCLUSIVE!!! Some previous remarks by Donald Trump have been analysed by psychology experts and the results are quite unexpected: his thought patterns have been declared “typically heterosexual”. Some of you will not know this term, because – as good progressives – we are either homosexual, transsexual, intersexual, bisexual, asexual or veganosexual. “Heterosexual” means actually […]

Who won the second debate – Hillary, Trump, or pussies?

Loading… The Great People’s Show Trial over Criminal Trump, aka “Second Presidential Debate” has just ended. Its first several minutes gave me the goosebumps, so much it reminded me of the glorious show trials under Comrade Stalin: Hillary as a prosecutor, with both moderators as her faithful assistants, leveling trumped-up charges against the designated Enemy […]

NEEDED: New White Supremacy Symbols

Comrades! The Party needs your creative juices flowing and frothing, if indeed not actively spewing, to create new or designate existing common objects as symbols of hateful White Supremacy. It has recently been revealed that a cartoon frog named Pepe, designed some decade ago for an obscure internet cartoon series, is in fact a symbol […]

Hillary Breaks Glass Ceiling – Thousands Injured

In what is being called the worst political disaster in American history, Hillary Rodham Clinton broke the glass ceiling on Tuesday night, injuring thousands at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia. Those in attendance at the Democratic National Convention little suspected that nominating Clinton would result in catastrophe. The evening’s events began innocently enough with […]

Living with Moderate Muslims: The Board Game

Glorious news, comrades! You already miss this year’s Ramadan Bombathon? Your family lives in a country with few Muslims? You envy your European friends who get to know the joyful and open-minded religion that is Islam, with its peaceful suicide bombings, its feminist-friendly female oppression, and its cultural annihilation? Then it is time for you […]