Iraq Crisis: While Obama’s Away, He Needs Options to Weigh

Being President of the United States and Leader of the Free World is not only hard work, but a lot of work for just one person, even if he is that Healer of the Planet, Stopper of the Rising Oceans and The One We’ve Been Waiting For otherwise known as Barack Obama.

Take this very weekend, for example. In addition to his Father’s Day speech about how he had to grow up without a father, he’s also traveling to North Dakota for a photo-op with Native Americans and another speech about how he really does care about them and wants to use his pen and phone to give them free stuff.

Then it’s off to California to do the two things he always does in California – Democratic fundraisers, which are important if we hope to stop Republican terrorism and obstructionism in Congress; and golf, because, you know, presidents always play golf no matter what – Republican presidents certainly did, but even though it was wrong and out-of-touch for them to do so, the fact that they did makes it alright for Obama to do so now.

But now, on top of all that, there’s this kerfuffle in Iraq. And while he’s away from the bubble of Washington, Obama is depending on his staff to come up with an array of options for him to consider in dealing with said kerfuffle.

Dudes, we are, like, just as qualified as Tommy Vietor or – with a necklace that looks clunky enough – Jen Psaki, or anyone else in the Obama Administration to conjure up options for dealing with the crisis in Iraq. Surely we can do our part to help Obama and lighten his heavy load! Here are a few possibilities:

More selfies of people holding up signs with hashtags. #ISISbenice or #ISISplaynice or #BlameBush4Ever or something that will make those ISIS guys think about what they’re doing and maybe back down if enough of us hold up signs and tweet and retweet. Maybe Jim Messina could write something on his hand about how he’s in on the newest OFA approved hashtag. Are you in? Or should it be #AreYouIn? #DoYouCare?

Hollywood celebrities could get together to record a song that will raise awareness of the crisis. If enough people download the song and it gets enough airplay on the radio, it just might reach Iraqi ears. It will give those on one side hope because we care about their plight, and warn the other side that we’re raising awareness of what they’re doing so they might want to consider reconsidering what they’re doing.

Or, we could throw shoes at an effigy of Bush before chopping it to pieces and setting it ablaze. After all, none of this would’ve happened if not for George Bush! It’s just not fair for anyone to expect Obama to clean up the mess Bush made! Isn’t it enough that it’s the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up, and the last thing he thinks about before falling asleep? Isn’t it enough that he cares?

The question is, do any of us care as much as he does?

I know I do! I cared enough to come up with THREE options for him to consider!

If anyone has any dumber ideas, post them here.

A regular contributor to The People’s Cube, Commissarka Pinkie is a proud Progressive with a lifelong commitment to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn’t busy making an issue out of everything, she enjoys spending other people’s money, ginning up phony outrage, and playing absolute moral authority and victim cards.