An Open letter to the Democrat Party of Florida


Christian Ulvert (left) with boyfriend Carlos Andrade.

Dear Democrat Party of Florida,

First let me congratulate Christian Ulvert. I understand he just married his long time boy friend Carlos Andrade. Christian is the Florida Democratic Party’s new political director. He married his partner Carlos in Washington, D.C. last week in a ceremony that they couldn’t have in their home state. It was more of a quick in and out ceremony. In honor of this marriage all liquid soap in hotel rooms in Miami has been changed to powered soap to ensure a longer wait time during the pick up process. This could encourage playful banter but none the less bring your own soap now boys and girls when you visit Miami.

I am sure Carlos has his Green Card or is at least here legally. If not its OK, as he can still get in state tuition and can become an attorney. Thank you Republican Party of Florida and the Florida Supreme Court.

Nicholas J. Pellito is the Director of Democrat Party Affairs for Florida. He must be managing Charlie Crist and Bill Clinton’s calendar. Just assuming. More of the quick in and out stuff I am sure. All hard drives will be accidentally lost and written over (perhaps) if we ever request a Freedom of Information Act request to look at all the in house party emails.

Sarah Smith, the new Finance Director, will be responsible for the redistribution of wealth from the pockets of Florida taxpayers to her purse just as soon as they can get rid of the TEA Party. Its not looking too hopeful so I reckon they will push ahead for a massive gas tax increase and destroy what’s left of the Democrat Party in the process.

allison tant

Allison Tant

Allison Tant is the Florida Democrats Chairwoman. Allison Tant has had major problems leading the Democrat Party. Tant was front and center when Allie Braswell announced he was running for state Chief Financial Officer. When Braswell pulled out of the race a few days later after revelations that he had filed for personal bankruptcy numerous times, she was left holding the bag. Looks like Florida Democrats are good at one thing – spending money they don’t have and filing bankruptcy to escape justice for their philandering’s.

The Florida Democrat Party does offer internships and are currently accepting applications. FDP internships for credit require a minimum of one semester or one summer in length. All internships are unpaid and generally require a time commitment of 10 to 20 hours a week. All student loans will be waived and passed onto the taxpayers.

Qualified interns should:

(1) Be members of the Communist Party USA;
(2) Support Gay marriage;
(3) Run up their parent’s credit card at college;
(4) Have a working understanding of Mein Kempf; and
(5) Swear a blood oath of allegiance to President Barrack H. Obama.

The Florida Democrat Party also has a long and proud history of defending civil rights and expanding opportunity for all Americans. This culminated in placing in power Barack Obama, who was half white. Before that though the Democrats pretty much created the Klu Klux Klan and voted against every single civil rights bill prior to JFK. We won’t mention that they filibustered the civil rights act of 1964. On June 10, 1964, for the first time in its history, cloture was invoked on a civil rights bill, ending a record-breaking filibuster by Democrats that had consumed fifty-seven working days. The hero of the hour was minority leader Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen (R-IL). YES THE GOP SAVED THE DAY! The Democrats were spanked again just like they will be on November 4th, 2014.

Pack your bags, clean out your cubicles and hold your breathe intermittently for 3 minutes every 30 minutes to reduce CO2 emissions when you exhale. Al Gore will surely start to tax it.

Have a wonderful evening Florida Democrats. Start saving your pennies to pay for your soon to be expanded price of health insurance premiums, gasoline and consumer goods, like food.

I know you all want a progressive centralized single payer system like the Veterans Administration. Your days of harming this country are coming to an end and soon you will be all fired on November 4th, 2014. Or most of you any way.


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