New Black Panthers purge transracial members, cause outcry

ATLANTA, GEORGIA – The New Black Panther Party, an admittedly black supremacist group, has announced from their headquarters in Atlanta last week that their organization has purged 137 of its members nationwide after it was discovered that they had a Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic, or a Native American parent or grandparent.

The discovery came after the New Black Panthers initiated a new mandate requiring all current members and applicants to prove their African heritage with documents showing at least four generations of pure and unadulterated African ancestry.

Of the 137 New Black Panthers who were expelled after failing to submit the required paperwork, at least 30 had been revealed to have Caucasian parents on both sides. The rejected members have since issued a statement through their lawyer, claiming that even though they may have been born to white families, they strongly identify with the African-American race and, therefore, they feel justified in filing a discrimination lawsuit against the New Black Panthers.

“I’m a black man trapped in a white man’s body,” said Muhammad Tayyib-Matin (Formally known as Kevin McCray). “And I’m being discriminated against for the body I was wrongfully born into. It’s bad enough that I have to be constantly reminded of my unfortunate whiteness every time I see my birth family, but now my former Black Panther brothers have also found out about my white genetics and told me to turn in my patches and other Party insignia. I’ve never felt this much pain in my entire life.”

The ACLU has picked up the cases of the rejected Black Panthers, seeing them as serious civil rights violations. “For obvious political reasons we used to turn a blind eye on the New Black Panthers’ open-carry parades and threats of violence towards voters during elections,” stated the ACLU representative. “But to discriminate against members who happen to be transracial African-Americans and who have every right to identify with an ethnicity other than the one they’ve been born into, is a grave violation of their civil rights.”

Backtracking on their new policy, the Black Panthers have since proposed to replace the genetic documentation requirement with a visual test based on a scale of acceptable skin tones, which existing and hopeful members must pass if they wish to maintain or gain entry into the organization.

However, the ACLU has called the visual scale “even more discriminatory” and “outrageously offensive” to the transracial victims. “That’s just as appalling as forcing a transgendered person to use a restroom in which they wouldn’t feel comfortable, or forcing a member of the LGBT community to prove their natural physical attraction towards members of the same gender,” said the ACLU statement. “The New Black Panther Party must answer for insensitivity towards their former members who have already suffered enough persecution with intolerant assumptions and asinine expectations of them from their immediate families and from society at large.”

In the wake of the discrimination lawsuit filed against the New Black Panther Party, dozens of similar lawsuits are now being filed against black-only organizations like the NAACP and the BET Channel by white individuals who racially identify with black culture but have been turned away from entry-level positions due to their birth color.

Observers expect that during the following months and years, many more victims of transracial discrimination will step forward and defend their right of racial self-identity by flooding various courtrooms and law offices with lawsuits involving employment and affirmative action cases, in which seemingly Caucasian persons were looked over despite their self-identification with racial and ethnic minorities.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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