Petition to stop Trump: Only the State can be Generous!

We urge all our progressive readers to sign our petition calling on Donald Trump to stop his reactionary support of private charities, stop being generous, and let the state take care of people!

The state always is there to help the oppressed and the downtrodden. Donald Trump’s theatrics include handing a scholarship for the former Miss Wisconsin’s son, flying an ill boy, giving a simple bus driver money, and giving donations to veteran groups. Instead, Mr. Trump should consider expanding government services, where thousands of caring bureaucrats can help the toiling masses according to their massive needs.

It is a well-known fact that the government knows our needs and can take a better care of us than we could ever do it ourselves. A shining example of government generosity are EBT cards that can be used at Papa Murphy’s, KFC, Subway, Burger King and Jack in the Box.

A bigger, better, and stronger government will make sure you and your children will never see the capitalist bogeyman steal your wages, food, healthcare, contraceptives, and other human rights.

A government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take away everything from capitalists and redistribute it to you for free.

If you want that, you must stop Trump!

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Hammer and Loupe originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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