North Carolina Man Arrested for Using Men’s Bathroom – Hillary and Trump respond

North Carolina resident John Z. Smith, while on vacation with his family in New York City, decided to use the men’s bathroom at a local Target store. Upon entering the men’s bathroom a New York City police officer arrested him. Bewildered Smith asked why?

The arresting officer quoted an Executive Order (EO) from New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio. The de Blasio EO was published shortly after the U.S. Department of Education mandate that all public schools allow gender confused individuals to use the bathroom of their choice or lose federal funding.

deblasio

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio

The de Blasio EO states:

In the name of equality and tolerance for our LGBTQ community anyone from North Carolina using a public restroom facility in New York City will be arrested. The charge should read: suspicion of racism, bigotry and homophobia.

New York City will not tolerate North Carolinian men using the men’s restroom. The City of New York must protect the civil rights and civil liberties of the gender confused.

Therefore by the power vested in me as Mayor it is now a misdemeanor crime in the City of New York for men from North Carolina to use the men’s bathroom. However, an exception is made for those who are gender confused from North Carolina who wish to use whichever restroom he/she/it may choose.

Hillary-PENIS-FREE-Feature-300x148Former New York Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton noted:

We applaud Mayor de Blasio for his action to provide equal rights to transgender (gender confused) men using the restroom of their choosing. The arrest of men from North Carolina who use men’s public restrooms is a step forward for the gay rights movement.

Those of us who have long supported equal rights for all, except male citizens of North Carolina, understand how hateful it is to see a man use the men’s bathroom.

I see that everyday on the campaign trail. Men must be put in their proper place and that place is in women’s restrooms.

Vote your vagina vote Hillary 2016. Time to put men in their proper place.

bathroom entrance man caveThe Trump campaign issued the following statement:

We believe that men using men’s bathrooms is a basic human right to privacy protected under the U.S. Constitution. We don’t want to see men, due to their citizenship in a certain state, denied the right to privacy.

In New York City the restroom is now known as the “arrest room.”

We have designated public restrooms in the Trump Towers in New York City as a safe haven for men. Our policy is that our restrooms are open to all North Carolina men who want to use the men’s restroom.

We have designated all of the public men’s restrooms Trump “man caves.” We have posted signs to indicate men are welcome to use the “Trump man caves” to conduct their business. As we all know the business of America is business, especially when men feel the need to relieve themselves.

It’s time for real men to relive themselves of the Obama administration and flush Hillary down the toilet, metaphorically speaking, on November 8th.

RELATED ARTICLES:

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In Loo of Common Sense…

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared in The New York City Guide for North Carolina Visitors (limited edition).

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