Who won the second debate – Hillary, Trump, or pussies?

The Great People’s Show Trial over Criminal Trump, aka “Second Presidential Debate” has just ended.

Its first several minutes gave me the goosebumps, so much it reminded me of the glorious show trials under Comrade Stalin: Hillary as a prosecutor, with both moderators as her faithful assistants, leveling trumped-up charges against the designated Enemy of the People™. Wasting no time, they took turns accusing Trump of terrible deeds and demanding that he repent and crawl on his knees before Hillary, begging for mercy.

That was promptly followed by a Muslim question, formulated along the lines of “Have you already stopped being an Islamophobe?” It seemed that very soon Trump would be summarily declared guilty of counter-revolutionary sabotage and taken out before the firing squad and executed right on that stage with all the severity of revolutionary justice.

But then Trump had the gall to go on offensive. He started rattling the three prosecutors, preventing them from doing their revolutionary duty, which was to destroy him in front of the world TV audiences. To be fair, they tried to continue reading their list of charges but they miserably failed. At one point Martha Raddatz even deployed the famous Candy Crowley maneuver, trying to debate Trump on Syria. But her Candy Crowley impersonation failed as well. To use Trump’s favorite buzzword, it was a disaster.

To sum it up, the debate started with all three of them attacking Trump about “pussy” but it ended with Trump standing tall like a man opposite the three pussies – Hillary, Martha, and Anderson (we love you, Andy, but you’re a pussy and you know it).

Can we get a real red-blooded man as a prosecuting moderator for the next and final debate, who could confront Trump on equal terms, on behalf of the pussies? (And when we say “pussies” we mean the Party™, the Communities™, and the entire Progressive Humanity™).
As it stands, this entire election boils down to “Trump vs. Pussies,” starting with the primaries. Thank you, mainstream media, for clearing it up for us.

Yes, Progressives have always been pussies and carried that title as a badge of honor. Why change now? We trust that you will cast your vote in this poll for the korrekt candidate as required by the Party discipline, because that’s what pussies do.

Because if Trump wins, we will be all up for grabs.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Red Square originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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