Fly found dead

The fly that fed on Hillary Clinton during the recent presidential debate has been found dead by the FBI.

Daniel Greenfield, a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the Freedom Center, in a FrontPage Magazine article titled “No Flies on Hillary: The fly knows what the media doesn’t” wrote:

“Let me just start out by saying that so much of what he just said is not right,” Hillary began.

And then while 63 million people watched, a member of Musca domestica, or the common housefly, landed and perched near her eye.

Trump had just wrapped up a thorough takedown of the Clintons and their abuse of women. “There’s never been anybody in the history politics in this nation that’s been so abusive to women,” he said. The camera cut to a stone-faced Bill Clinton sitting unmoving in the VIP box.

“Hillary Clinton attacked those same women and attacked them viciously. Four of them here tonight. One of the women, who is a wonderful woman, at 12 years old, was raped at 12. Her client she represented got him off, and she’s seen laughing on two separate occasions, laughing at the girl who was raped. Kathy Shelton, that young woman is here with us tonight,” he said.

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Initial reports indicate that the fly’s cause of death was food poisoning. The FBI has not commented on the “fly incident” as their investigation is ongoing.

An entomologist (who wished to remain anonymous) at Washington University where the debate was held stated that, “Flies are naturally attracted to putrid organisms and excrement. They feed on it and lay their eggs in it. This is troublesome as Mrs. Clinton is clearly a candidate, no pun intended, for swarms of flies.”

After contacting Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s office at the Department of Justice the following statement was issued by her spokesperson:

After meeting with former President Bill Clinton on his private airplane on the tarmac at the St. Louis International Airport, AG Lynch and Mr. Clinton discussed golf, their grandchildren and the fly incident.

President Clinton was concerned that the fly was deliberately sent by the Russians to embarrass Mrs. Clinton and perhaps collect a blood sample.

An autopsy of the fly is being conducted. The FBI has not determined the exact cause of death.

We have asked the Department of Defense to determine if the fly is actually small drone, which would be a breach of national security.

Hillary Clinton was seen leaving the debate assisted by Bill Clinton and staff. They appeared to be accompanied by a swarm of flies.

MSNBC, ABC, CBS and CNN and other mainstream media networks have removed any videos showing the fly landing on Mrs. Hillary several times when she stood up to attack Mr. Trump, aided by the moderators, at the debate.

Confidential sources from the Department of Homeland Security stated that an email was sent out to “ensure the Russians are implicated in a fly plot in coordination with the GOP nominee Donald J. Trump campaign.” The Trump campaign denied any involvement in the fly incident, but did not rule out the fact that flies are naturally attracted to Mrs. Clinton.

Various art work is appearing depicting Mr. Clinton with flies.

The Clinton campaign issued the following statement:

It is clear that the fly is part of a vast right-wing conspiracy. We have asked the Trump campaign to stop using flies to distract voters and our bought and paid for moderators.

It’s just unfair to have a fly land on the former first lady like that. Flies are deplorable.

The Department of Agriculture has reported that flies are swarming around Clinton campaign offices across the United States. A spokesman for the Interior Department noted, “We are seeing an unrepresented swarming of flies around Mrs. Clinton, her husband and the Clinton campaign staff. We believe this swarming is caused by global warming/climate change.”

The Trump campaign responded to allegations that they are responsible for the fly incident stating, “Let the fly land where it may. We are focused on making America great again. When elected Mr. Trump will insure the prison that Mrs. Clinton will be a permanent resident at is properly fumigated.”

Hollywood is planning to release an updated version of the 1958 film “The Fly” about a scientist Andrea Delambre, played by Hillary Clinton, who tests her matter transporter on herself, an errant housefly makes its way into the transportation chamber, and things go horribly wrong, as it did in her run for the presidency. As a result, Delambre’s head and arm are now that of the insect. Slowly losing herself to the fly, Delambre turns to her husband Bill, for help. But when tragedy strikes, Delambre’s campaign manager, Huma Abedin and her husband Anthony Weiner are forced to pick up the investigation into the vast right-wing conspiracy.

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