A Demand for People’s Paid Protest Leave (PPPL)

With all the Days of Resistance and Days Without Some Victim Group we’ve had lately, and will continue to have for the next four years—or until He Who Shall Not Be Named Because That Only Legitimizes and Worse, Humanizes Him—is impeached—it’s clear we need to set aside another Day, this one to demand paid leave for protesting. We shall call it the People’s Paid Protest Leave, or PPPL™ for short.

Because this is about People. People who care. People who are fighting fascism. People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sense, we were.

That makes us victims. And that, in turn, makes us entitled. Thus we are entitled to paid leave for protesting, so we can make our voices heard without fear of being fired from our jobs. Without having to use any of our sick days that we’ve already used up for our hangovers. Without having to waste any of our precious vacation days that we shouldn’t have to use for anything other than loafing on the couch binge-watching whatever we can find on Netflix. And don’t even get me started on maternity leave. It’s not fair I have to get pregnant and actually give birth just to get maternity leave. I’m denied my right to choose! But I digress.

Resisting and protesting is a right. When people are faced with losing their jobs because they choose to exercise their rights, their boss is denying them their rights. Their boss is being a fascist. No one has the right to make you work on a Day of Resistance or a Day of Demand or a Day of Awareness or a Day Without One Victim Group or Another. But you still need to be paid as if you did work. Magic markers, poster board, yarn for pink pussy caps, etc.—it all adds up! No one should have to choose between these necessities (which shouldn’t be taxed, either), and having to report to work for a fascist who’d just as soon fire you anyway for daring to exercise your rights.

You are valuable. You are special. You are a Victim. Ergo, you are entitled to be paid for your courage and suffering under the oppressive, bloodthirsty regime of He Who Is Not and Never Shall Be Our President.

And if you’re unemployed? You should be paid, anyway. It’s only fair. No one, but no one should ever have to miss a protest because they aren’t being paid to show up!

ABOUT COMMISSARKA PINKIE

Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People’s Cube, and is dedicated to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn’t busy making an issue out of everything, she enjoys spending other people’s money, jumping on bandwagons, and wandering through the woods with her shovel, hoping for a chance encounter with Hillary and digging a hole in which to curl up and cry—for both of them!

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by Commissarka Pinkie  originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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