Confused about European candidates? Not anymore!

man confusedConfused about which European candidates to support from this side of the pond? Well, clarity begins here with al-Blogunov’s People’s Patented Euro-candidate Filter™. You’ll know in a jiffy whether you’re cheering a good ‘un or a bad ‘un.

Just plug in your favorite candidate’s views on major issues, and voila! the answer in milliseconds.

Does the candidate believe that his/her country should subjugate itself economically to a massive bureaucracy, and open its borders to huge numbers of violent, unvetted immigrants?

man i get itIf yes, then your candidate is “reasonable.”

Does the candidate believe that his/her country should have a degree of economic sovereignty, and that it should protect its citizens by carefully vetting immigrants?

If yes, then your candidate is an “extreme, right-wing Nazi.”*

See how easy it is to use? Order now while supplies last, and get a free burka for that special someone**.

macron german


*Please ignore the fact that “Nazi” stands for “national socialism.”

**Offer oddly void in France if used for beachwear.


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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Komissar al-Blogunov originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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