Science comes to march in lockstep for Earth Progress!

As the world community senses the looming destruction of our planet by Trump’s imperial knowledge-rejecting regime, scientists all over the globe stand up and say No pasaran!

On April 22, and the battle cry of Earth Day resounding through the canyons of our metropoles, Science will march in the front row!

(all pics in this report show Science March rehearsals ongoing now all over the world.)Female-gendered scientists designed a Brainy-hat, and keenly knit it during breaks in rehearsals :

Collectives of scientists in all basic research disciplines announced elaborate programs of historically unprecedented sophistication, aimed to finally establish Environmental Justice for Gaia.

Physicists – Relentlessly Smash Inequality of Atoms!

Everybody knows: each atom has a Z (zhe Atomzahl aka proton number). That Z varies wildly: for hydrogen (evil!) it’s 1, for oxygen (People’s Element!) it’s 8, for gold (bankers!) it’s 79. That’s a scandalous inequality.

And so, the Gaia Program in Physics is: Make all atoms equal! Redistribute protons, and make all atoms have a common, universal Z. Say, Z = 59. This is a monumental effort, given that there are really many, many atoms. Spare particles – protons, electrons etc. – freed from liberated atoms will be used as clean energy fuel.

Physicists present models of proton-wise equalized atoms.

NOTE. FBI started an investigation into the origins of protonic atom inequality. All traces lead to… RUSSIA! The evidence so far points to an individual with a suspicious name – Mendeleyev. Zionist?

Chemists – Boldly create New Matter out of Equalized Atoms!

As atom-equalized matter will soon bubble up in retorts, fascinating questions arise. Will water (H2O) become gooey? Will iron (Fe) be gaseous? Finally, will equalized gold (Au) be simply made from equalized stones (St)?

Chemists proudly present an equalized atom in Science March.

New Matter in a peaceful laboratory flask, with proletariat watching.

Even more contentious, the Gaia Program in Chemistry demands a protonic exception: Carbon (C) to be stripped of protons altogether! This is the direct way to boldly decarbonize our Planet.

Chemical activists for de-protonizing Carbon (and thusly decarbonizing Gaia).

    Mystery item No. 1

Mathematicians – Progressive Gender-Awareness NOW!

Mathematics is extremely gender offensive. One single blob of genderific macroaggression.
This is aggressively explicit when doing Math in Romance languages (le/la, il/la, der/die/das).

See German:

der Punkt – (he) point ; die Linie – (she) line ; das Dreieck – (it) triangle.

Gender is pressed on any mathematical object, leaving no room at all for self-determination.

And it’s not just Romance languages – the Slavic ones have it too, implicitly.

Say, Russian:
(она) точка – (she) point ; (оно) пространство – (it) space ; (он) треугольник – (he) triangle.
Or this: (он) куб – (he) cube ; (она) вершина – (she) vertex ; (оно) ребро – (it) edge.

All research must be immediately stopped! The struggle must focus on total language revolution!
Only after the victory in that battle can gender-autonomy return to now victimized Math objects!

Mathematicians in Science March, expressing their resolve for Math Gender Revolution.

Climatists – Seize the Rudder in the Glorious March of Science!

The world collective of marching science decided (to be announced on April 22) the following:

1) The Queen of All Sciences is no longer Math, it is Climatism.
2) Climatism is administered, supervised, and directed by UN/IPCC.
3) UN/IPCC defines its innermost core UN/IPCC/IMC (abbrev. IMC).
4) What Climatism is, is – at any time – predetermined by IMC, the innermost core.
5) Who a Climate Scientist is, is defined by IMC’s rigorous Axiomatic Recursive Model, as follows:

A1. Members of IMC are Climate Scientists.
A2. Anyone deemed by a troika of Climate Scientists a Climate Scientist, is a Climate Scientist.


Whoever, in absence of a promoting troika (see A2), claims to be a “Climate Scientist”,
is thereby a scientophobic white supremacist contra-gendered Nazi denier (and RRRAAAAAcist!).See gloriously turgid Science Marches all over the Globe on April 22, The Gaia Day!




And unscientific denier Nazis will get a treatment they richly deserve :

EDITORS NOTE: This scientific political satire by Genosse Dummkopf originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.
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