Netflix Original Series: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Came to Love the Beheadings

Netflix is rumored to be considering doing a series based upon “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.” How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is a 1964 political satire black comedy film that satirizes the Cold War fears of a nuclear conflict between the Soviet Union and the United States. Since the fall of the former Soviet Union, Hollywood has been looking for a new theme that is top of mind with the movie going audience.

According to unnamed Hollywood investors, “Today the fears of a nuclear war have been replaced with the fear of being beheaded, particularly if you are the President of the United States, a Republican, Christian, Jew, Hindu, atheist, gay or just a non-Muslim.  We see this as an opportunity to create a new reality show for our growing progressive audience. Fear sells at the box office!”

The Netflix original series working title, according to anonymous sources, is “Dr. Mohammed: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Came to Love the Beheadings.”

The series will be directed by former comedian and Hollywood favorite Kathy Griffin. The cast will be actors whose roles portray members of the Democratic National Campaign Committee (DNCC), Antifa, Muslim Brotherhood and Black Lives Matter. According to anonymous sources, ISIS (a Muslim Brotherhood organization) will be sending its displaced migrant members to be interviewed for the action sequences in the new Netflix series “Beheadings.”

This Netflix original series will be the comeback of Harvey Weinstein since the #MeToo movement. Mr. Weinstein said in a press release:

I’m glad to be back in the saddle again, no pun intended.

I am aroused and excited, no pun intended, to be working on/with Kathy Griffin and Netflix on this new series that raises beheadings to an art form. It is time for us to stop worrying about being beheaded.

As a heterosexual, white, migrant Jew it is important to understand how our Muslim brothers and sisters have used the beheading of others to express their deepest feeling and emotions. We will be using volunteers to be beheaded.

In this Netflix original series heads will actually roll, no pun intended.

Netflix in a statement noted:

The well know character Dr. Strangelove, played by Peter Sellers in the original film How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, will be played by former British citizen, and member of ISIS, Mohammed Emwazi (a.k.a. Jihadi John, John the Beatle). John will play the role of Dr. Muhammad (founder of the Religion of Peace) in the series.

We are seeking Christians, Jews, Hindus, Confusions, and other non-Muslims for parts in our original series Beheadings. If you are looking for a part and making film history just call 1-800-BEHEADME. These positions are temporary and only require kneeling and bowing your head.

Any current or former employee of the White House is welcome to apply for this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Ms. Griffin, the Director of Beheadings, noted, “This is my comeback, my opportunity to show the world how a head in the hand is worth two in the White House.”

Al Hayat Media Center noted:

This gives our brothers and sisters a new lease on life. After being driven out of Syria and Iraq, we are looking for new opportunities to use our unique skills. We cannot think of a better place than Hollywood, California. Allah Akbar!

President Trump tweeted:

Fake news.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column originally appeared in the beheadings wanted section of the ISIS magazine Dabiq.

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