Hawaiian judge orders released U.S. detainees back to N. Korea

A federal judge in Hawaii has blocked the recent release of three U.S. detainees from North Korea, calling it a political stunt that violated the detainees’ constitutional right to “full and fair punishment,” ordering that they be immediately returned to a North Korean prison.

The case, brought by Hawaii Atty. Gen. Douglas Chin, follows his earlier move to declare Trump’s peace effort unconstitutional and ordering the Korean War to continue as it had been during previous administrations.

The latest decision, made just hours after the plane with the detainees landed in Washington, D.C., has struck down the Trump administration’s attempt to change the status quo and set the stage for the upcoming U.S.- North Korea summit in Singapore.

U.S. District Judge Derrick Watson argued that the latest release illegally discriminates based on nationality and would have “profound” and “detrimental” effects on residents of North Korea who would still remain inside the country while the three more privileged Korean-Americans would be allowed to leave. Thus, the judge argued, the release violates the equal protection guarantees of the U.S. Constitution.

Lawyers for the state also argued that the release, the coming summit, and ending the Korean War in general is an assault on the North Korean people’s human rights. The current North Korean government has a stellar record of preventing obesity and laziness among their people, who overwhelmingly prefer their lives to end uninterrupted by excessive eating and similar harmful decadence that plagues the so-called “free world.”

The cruel and unnecessary release of the American detainees is widely seen among progressive legal minds as cultural imperialism and a racist attempt to impose the American way of life, McDonald’s, Coke, electricity and hygiene on a people who have rejected it many decades ago, choosing the way of Juche.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Red Square originally appeared in The Peoples Cube.

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