Migrant loses penis after kicking dog in Spain — CNN’s Jake Tapper, Porn Star Stormy Daniels and PETA respond

Fellow Democratic Socialists, Marxists, Bernie Sander acolytes and fellow travelers, we noted that Voice of Europe (VOE) recently reported that a migrant had his penis bitten off by a dog. The VOE article “Migrant nearly loses penis after kicking dog in Spain” reports:

It happened in the early hours of 12 September. The cries of pain of a Senegalese citizen were heard throughout the neighbourhood of Santa Teresa Street in the town of Reus, shortly after midnight.

Local police arrived and found the man writhing in pain gesturing to his crotch. A local resident explained to the police how the African became wounded shortly before they arrived.

The witness said that the man kicked the dog of a local resident and the dog then retaliated. The dog clamped his teeth on the attacker’s penis and then his hand as the man tried to push the animal away.

Comrades penises are way up in the news, no pun intended. CNN’s Jake Tapper did an entire segment on the penis of Donald J. Trump. Watch:

According to an unnamed CNN source,

 

Jake Tapper is investigating if the dog that bit off the penis of a migrant was once owned by a member of the Trump family. It is clear that the racist Trump hates immigrants.

This may be a new secret Trump administration effort to castrate DACA, no pun intended. Without penises undocumented migrants (a.k.a. illegal aliens) coming to America can’t claim to have children. Without children there’s no DACA!

Conspiricy theory? Not when we at CNN publish it!

Noted author and porn star Stormy Daniels was asked to respond to this incident in Spain of a Senegalese citizen losing his penis. Ms. Daniels spokes person, a gender neutral term,  who was on set doing her new Netflix Original movie “Donald’s Dick and Me”, in a brief statement noted:

It is not the policy of Ms. Daniels to comment on penises unless it is the penis of Donald J. Trump.

The animal rights group PETA found itself between a migrant’s penis and a dog, the proverbial rock and a hard place (no pun intended). PETA in conjunction with its Adopt an “undocumented” mutt today! campaign wants to sponsor the penis less man to come to the United States and help promote bringing illegal alien dogs across the border.

Ad courtesy of PETA.

A PETA spokes person (a gender neutral term) noted, “A dog’s life is hard enough, no pun intended.”

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by Russian Bot originally appeared in Dick Shaming magazine. The feature photo is by James Barker on Unsplash.

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