MAR-A-LAGO CLUB, FL (UP) 1 Apr – In a stunning reversal of his first two years of his administration, President Trump today announced he has had a change of heart and now embraces the socialist platform. This was followed by several new cabinet nominations, including long-time opponent Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont as Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS), replacing Alex Azar.
In a surprise move, former CNN Chairman Jeff Zucker was appointed press secretary, replacing Sarah Saunders. “I relish the opportunity to work closely with the President in this capacity. He and I have had a close personal relationship for many years. I trust his judgement and I’m confident he feels likewise.”
Other notable changes include:
Sen. Elizabeth Warren as Treasury Secretary, replacing Steven Mnuchin. She is expected to change the tax structure to force increased payments by the upper class, estimated to be as much as a 1000% increase on people making more than $70,000.
Former Rep. Beto O’Rourke as Reich Minister of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, replacing Joseph Goebbels. He will be making a series of presentations standing on coffee tables in restaurants where he will be articulating the new Socialist Manifesto.
Sen. Kamala Harris as Reich Minister for Labour, replacing Franz Seldte. The Senator will be responsible for building welcome centers along our southern border and providing guidance to immigrants for voting in the 2020 election.
Rep. Ilhan Omar as Ambassador to Israel, replacing David Friedman. She will be residing in East Jerusalem.
And Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to the newly created Department of What’s Happening Now where she will be asked to speak regularly on television news talk shows, discussing the administration’s embrace of the New Green Deal. She will be slightly delayed in assuming her new responsibilities as she has major periodontal surgery planned.
The president tweeted, “I look forward to working with these people. They are just what the people want right now. I can finally sit back, relax, and let them run the country for me. I’ll now be able to spend more time playing golf with my old friend Vladimir Putin. I can’t wait for my term to end so I can turn the keys over to Joe Biden, a true intellectual.”
He also tweeted, “April Fool!”
EDITORS NOTE: This Bryce is Right political satire column is republished with permission.