San Francisco Dogs Begin Bagging People Poop
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—The dogs of San Francisco have announced a citywide cleanup initiative, in which the canines will carry little plastic bags with them wherever they go in order to clean up the massive dumps humans keep leaving on the sidewalk.
The initiative is expected to freshen up the city significantly, ridding the sidewalk of millions of pounds of human waste.
“We need to start taking pride in our city,” said one labrador as he scooped up a giant turd his owner had just left on the sidewalk and placed it in a nearby human waste bin. “It’s incredibly rude what these humans do. They just see some rando’s lawn and decide, ‘Yeah, that’s a good place to drop a deuce.’ It’s like, we’re living in a society, here.”
The dogs have begun putting signs up around the city reading things like, “Please Pick Up After Your Owner” and “If Your Human Poops, You Scoop.”
RELATED SATIRE:
Experts Warn Global Outrage Levels May Reach Point Of No Return In 2020
Intrigued Trump Grills 7-Year-Old On Wall-Building Process In ‘Minecraft’
El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President
Babylon Bee subscriber Randall Labrentz contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
Readers of the Bee,
If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.
Support Us Learn More
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. © All rights reserved.
Leave a Reply
Want to join the discussion?Feel free to contribute!