Democrats Warn We Shouldn’t Reopen The Country Until We Can Be Safe From Trump Getting Credit For A Good Economy

WASHINGTON, D.C.—While President Trump and some Republican governors are pushing to reopen the country soon, Democrats are much more cautious as they see a looming disaster if America ends the shutdown early: Trump getting credit for a growing economy.

“Right now, we have record joblessness, and GDP is certainly going to take a huge hit,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “That’s exactly what you want in an election year when you’re running against an incumbent. If we reverse that too soon, we’re basically helping Trump’s reelection.”

“If we reopen now, it could be an absolute disaster,” added Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “We could have people in November saying, ‘Wow. Things are getting better. Trump is doing a great job.’ It’s hard to imagine anything worse than that.”

Pelosi and Schumer said that “out of an abundance of caution,” they need to wait to make sure things stay pretty bad until after the election, as that will be the only way to stave off another Trump term.

“Oh, and I guess if we reopen things too soon,” Schumer added as an afterthought, “it could also lead to a resurgence of people dying.”

“Well, we’d have to hope,” Pelosi said, “or it would look like Trump knows what he’s doing.”

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Biden Vows To Return Nation To Era When Press Didn’t Bother Reporting On President’s Scandals

Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out ‘We’re All In This Together’ With Their Yachts

Men Demand End To Lockdown Before Wives Start Any More Home Improvement Projects

Monopoly Suspends Rent On All Properties And Bumps Up Passing Go To $1200

Latest Computer Model Predicts Between 0 And 12.6 Billion New COVID-19 Deaths By Summer

Church Deploys Drones To Make Sure Worshipers Sit, Stand, Raise Hands When Instructed

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column from The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. © All rights reserved.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *