Mastercard Changes Name To Equalitycard

PURCHASE, NY—Popular multinational financial services company, Mastercard Incorporated, which is known for its extensive line of credit, debit, and prepaid cards to process payments between card-issuing banks and merchants, has released a statement that they will now be known as Equalitycard. This shift in branding follows other companies who have made major branding changes due to their negligence in propagating racial stereotypes in America like Aunt Jemima syrup, Uncle Ben’s Ready Rice, and Land O’Lakes Butter.

This massive change in branding awareness comes in the wake of protests pointing out how far we need to go in stamping out systemic racism, even if it is found in beloved food products. Financial products are now coming under fire as many consumers pointed out that the troubling phrase “Master” was in the name of Mastercard, leading many to think of a checkered past when slaveowners expected to be called “master.”

“Honestly, in 2020, there is no place in America for terms like ‘master’,” said Ajaypal “Ajay” Singh Banga, Equalitycard’s chief executive. “That is not an image we want to evoke when consumers engage in financial transactions that might place them massively in debt to us, through late fees and massive interest charges. Equalitycard will always promote the equality of cardholders of all races.”

At publishing time, several other popular American institutions and brands using the problematic word were facing criticism including MasterClass online classes, Masterpiece Theatre, all master’s degrees, and Jedi Masters.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Monopoly Suspends Rent On All Properties And Bumps Up Passing Go To $1200

Captain America Rebooted As Feminist, Atheist, Transgender Hydra Agent

Mattel Unveils Barbie: Polygamy Edition