Democrats Propose Mail-In Debates

U.S.—Democrats have agreed to allow Biden to debate Trump, but they are proposing an exciting, new mail-in format where both candidates will mail their responses back and forth to each other.

“Mail-in debating is safe and secure, and it will give our candidate ample time to formulate a response, with some assistance, over several days,” said Nancy Pelosi. “It’s only fair.”

The mail-in debate would take place over several months. Candidates would hand-write letters back and forth and then eagerly await a response by their mailbox.

Biden fired off an early missive in the debate, though Trump had not yet agreed to the terms:

DEAR RONALD TROOMP,

HEY, MAN, PLEASE HELP, THEY GOT ME LOCKED IN HERE. STOP. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY GRANDKIDS AGAIN. STOP. HOPE TO HERE FROM YOU SOON. STOP.

WILL YOU AGREE TO HELP ME, CIRCLE ONE.

YES              NO

COME ON MAN,
JIM BIDEN

Republicans have expressed concern over mail-in debate fraud, but Democrats assured everyone that the letters will be written by Biden himself and that there will be no tampering whatsoever. “It will be as secure and reliable as mail-in voting.”

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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire from The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.