ACB Calmly Answers Questions While Typing Up Appellate Court Decision And Cooking Dinner For 9

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It was quite a spectacle at the Senate hearing for Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination to the Supreme Court this morning, as Judge Barrett calmly answered the committee’s questions while cooking dinner for her family of nine with her right hand and typing up an appellate court decision with her left hand.

“That’s a great question, Senator, thank you for asking,” she responded to one line of questioning as she chopped up onions to put them in her stew. “Sorry if I’m crying during my response — it’s just the onions.” She eloquently answered the inquiry while moving on to skinning the potatoes, simultaneously typing up a 50-page decision for the Seventh Court of Appeals with her other hand.

At publishing time, Judge Barrett had gotten out her knitting.

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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

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