Teachers Union Opposes Vaccine As It Might Force Teachers To Teach Again

U.S.—Many are excited about the prospect of a vaccine to end the COVID-19 pandemic, but one group is adamantly opposed to the vaccine: teachers unions. Their fear is that widespread availability of the vaccine could lead to teachers once again being forced to teach.

“Teachers are too important to risk putting them anywhere near other people’s kids,” said National Education Association president Jacob Bridges. “We’re afraid that if the pandemic ends, people will think it’s once again okay to impose a grueling five-day-a-week, nine-months-a-year work schedule on teachers who frankly have better things to do.”

It has always been the stated goal of teachers unions to do the least amount of teaching for the most amount of money, with the ultimate fabled goal to get paid to not teach at all. Thanks to the pandemic, teachers have actually reached that goal with schools shutting down, but now teachers panic that the vaccine means that they will have to teach again.

Supportive politicians like Governor Andrew Cuomo are trying to assure them that it won’t happen. “We already kept schools closed despite science saying we didn’t need to,” said Cuomo. “And we will stop this vaccine. It’s time to end this tyrannical idea that one can ask anything of teachers. Teachers have the most important job in society. But you know who isn’t important? Your stupid kids. Keep them home.”


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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

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