U.S.—United Airlines came under fire this week after forcefully removing a 2-year-old from a flight for refusing to say “black lives matter.”
“We tried! We even practiced together for weeks,” said the sobbing mother on Facebook Live. “But little Adeline couldn’t get the words out! The best she could do was ‘bwak wives mawa.’ She was able to make a little fist which she raised above her head, but that wasn’t good enough for the flight attendants.”
A video posted on the internet showed the incident as the entire flight crew surrounded the child and demanded proof that she was an ally of racial justice. The little girl responded by hiding behind her mother and asking for a graham cracker.
In a response to the situation, United Airlines said: “We have a strict ideological purity requirement on all our flights for the health and safety of travelers. We can’t let people fly on planes with the fear that a racist baby might be on board. The family was quickly removed after which we lectured them for 2 hours in the airport terminal.”
The family is now stranded in Denver since there are no other airlines willing to accept potentially racist 2-year-olds on board. All taxi and ride-sharing services have banned them from travel as well.
“We hope this family has learned a valuable lesson on public safety and complete compliance with our very important, scientific, and essential regulations,” continued the statement from United.
“We hope that a few years of watching CNN in the airport terminal where they now live will set them straight.”
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. All rights reserved.