‘Everyone Stop Getting Angry Over This Illegally Stolen Election That Will End This Country,’ Says Trump Trying To Calm Things Down

WASHINGTON D.C.—As protesters against the Electoral College vote certification stormed the Capitol, President Donald Trump made a video message and posted it on social media to try to calm everyone down.

“Everyone stop getting angry over this illegally stolen election that will end this country,” Trump said in the video. “I know that the Democrats have stolen my landslide victory and plan to use that to end all freedom, but everyone needs to just calm down, go home, and await the gulags that will inevitably follow.”

While telling the destructive protesters to calm down about “the worst tragedy in American history,” Trump repeatedly called the protesters his “most precious and lovely people” and reiterated that he didn’t want anyone to be harmed over “stopping the complete and utter destruction of our country.”

Trump’s message of peace was banned from all social media for being “fighting words.” It’s unknown how Trump feels about all this, as apparently he doesn’t know how to release a public statement without Twitter.


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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved

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