New Social Media Startup Hopes To Be Successful Enough To Get Totally Crushed By Big Tech One Day

GLASTONBURY, CT—An alternative social network dedicated to internet freedom is hoping to one day be big enough to be targeted and deplatformed by Big Tech.

“Man, if we can get big enough to have all the other social networks, all the app stores, and even our internet host ban us from existence — well, that’s the dream, isn’t it?” said one VP at the company during a meeting Wednesday.

The company’s executive board sat down and brainstormed ways they could grow their network to promote a free internet and allow creators to monetize their content, with hopes that one day they would be a big enough target for Twitter, Facebook, Google, Amazon, and the government to simultaneously crack down on. “You know, you start up these little social companies, and a lot of them go belly up pretty quickly,” said one spokesperson. “But with a lot of effort and a spark of creativity, you can make your social network big enough to get destroyed by Big Tech once you’re a threat.”

The social network’s three-step plan for growth is to build a cutting-edge, sleek platform that’s easy to use and helps users engage with creators’ thought-provoking content, then to go viral as users flee other social network sites due to a crackdown on free speech, and finally the big payoff: to get totally crushed by Big Tech one day.

“We’re just a small, growing company with big dreams,” the spokesperson added wistfully.

Big Tech is a behemoth, but alternative social sites are keeping the dream of free speech on the internet alive. Make sure to follow The Babylon Bee on Minds, the leading alternative social network dedicated to Internet freedom and creator monetization.


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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

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