U.S.—A shocking study has found an increasing number of Democratic state governors are fleeing to Florida, desperate to escape the ravages of their own COVID lockdown policies.
The report found that Governors Whitmer, Newsom, and Cuomo have already secretly purchased homes in The Sunshine State.
“Let me be clear. Florida is a deep dark pit of deep right-wing darkness,” said Newsom as he watched his servants pack up his U-Haul. “But also, their restaurants are actually still in business, and I’m really hungry.”
The study also found that Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York has secretly been making trips to Florida since last year, mainly due to the fact that no one lives in New York anymore and he gets lonely sometimes. “Listen,” he said while eating a meatball sub he had made himself since there were no sub shops left in New York, “even a guy like me needs someone to talk to every once in a while. That’s why I’m movin’ to Florida.”
Governor Ron DeSantis has expressed concern over the influx of Democrat Governors clamoring to get into the state and has mandated that they all quarantine for at least a year before mixing with the general populace.
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NOT SATIRE: The James Madison Institute is the leading voice of liberty that helped STOP the lockdowns in Florida and continues to empower the state to become one of the best places to live, start a business, and raise a family.
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