Here are seven signs you might have been indoctrinated by biased news sources:
1) You often begin conversations with “You know, the experts are saying…” – If you find yourself citing “the experts” all the time, you might be relying too much on biased news sources.
2) You don’t know what to think about an issue until you check what Jimmy Kimmel has to say about it. – Needing the late-night comedians to help you form an opinion is a bad sign.
3) You’re starting to think The Last Jedi isn’t that bad of a movie. – A sure sign you’re listening to journalists too much.
4) You swoon every time you see a picture of Biden eating ice cream. – You might be beyond help at this point.
5) You always check under your bed for Russian spies. – If you do this every night, start to get worried.
6) You’ve been hiding in your basement eating emergency rations since spring of 2020. – This might mean you’re paying too much attention to the doomsday news prophets.
7) You’re worried about every little thing that happens because you forget that Whatever the news, the purpose of the Lord will stand. – The surest sign of all and not really satire.
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.