It seems that the Afghanistan debacle seems to be at the forefront of Joey’s agenda this week. That and grade school children wearing masks to school that is. The latter is where Joey is focusing most of his energy these days. Well, we all know Joey’s uncanny ability to multitask, but when he has a red hot issue like children wearing masks threatening the survival of our country, that’s what Joey zeros in on. We will circle back (don’t you just love Jen Goebbels Psaki catch phrases) to the mask issue later. Let’s take a look at that little issue over there in Afghanistan first.
Well, it looks like Joey’s hands were tied by a previous President Trump policy to get out of Afghanistan. Strange though, Joey has changed numerous successful policies established by President Trump. With a stroke of a pen he has signed 54 executive orders reversing many successful policies. So, one may ask why he had to follow this policy? Conservatives point out that Joey is looking any which way to cast blame on this catastrophic failure. Many Democrats, many Democrats…………agree with them.
It seems this all unfolded while Joey was on vacation at Camp David. Joey came back to reassure the country that everything would be alright. Then he gave his 18 minute speech, of course without accepting ANY questions. He knows “Dr.” Jill has a rule, if he takes any questions, that means no waffle cone and ice cream. He said, “the buck stops with him”, very Harry Trumanesque. The only problem is 30 seconds later he was blaming the Afghan military, bad intelligence reports, and of course his go to excuse…..…it is President Trump’s fault. Then, he jumped back on the helicopter to be back in time for s’more’s at Camp David.
It is true, President Trump did want all troops out of Afghanistan eventually. But here is the rub, President Trump had the crazy idea to get all American civilians out FIRST, before the military was to leave. It seems Joey got that part mixed up. He felt it was a better idea to remove ALL military personnel and air protection and then tell the Taliban to leave the American and Afghan civilians alone and play nice. Alas, this brilliant strategy didn’t seem to work, so Joey ordered 6,000 troops back without the air support. What a tactician, eh Deano. I could just imagine Joey in the war room, directing the D Day invasion. Of course, if he had, all ships and personnel would have landed in South America.
Joey then cut his vacation a whole day short, a whole day mind you. He sat down with his favorite lap dog, I mean interviewer, Georgie Stephanopoulos. It seems Old Joe got a bit testy with George at various times. Especially when George asked him what he thought of the images of Afghan civilians running along a C-17 transport plane, trying to climb aboard. He also pointed to the 2 civilians who tragically fell to their deaths trying to hang on for their lives. You might think Joe would reflect on this tragedy pensively, maybe a bless their souls moment. Nope, Joey blurted out, “what was that 4/5 days ago.” Actually first of all, it was 2 days ago—secondly as Conservatives point out…..when does gross incompetence have a time limit? What difference does it make if these moronic military decisions where made 2 hours ago or 2 weeks ago.
Conservatives point out that both intelligence and his military leaders warned Ole slow Joe about consequences by removing all troops ahead of American and Afghan civilians. He wanted all military out by 9/11, for the political optics it would serve. Who knows, we may have another war by 9/11 now. But Joe would have none of it. It seems his handlers, Nancy, Chuck, Barack Hussein, Soros, China and the like have him programmed to undo anything associated with President Trump, no matter what the consequences. You know like a spiteful, vindictive child. Sadly, due to his rapidly declining mental acuity, a child’s mind is what he has been reduced to, to lead this once great country.
GET THOSE KIDS IN MASKS!
Just Wednesday, Joey had his second speech in a week. This guy is a workaholic, I tell ya. A regular energizer bunny. Well, to ease everyone’s mind about the Afghanistan catastrophe (not to be confused with the Southern border catastrophe) Joey didn’t utter one word about it. That is where his 48 years in politics comes in handy, what a diplomat. His speech reminded me of the recordings of Winston Churchill and his rallying of the masses during the blitzkrieg attacks, except Winston focused on the paramount issue at hand. So what did Joey focus on….why, school children wearing masks, and possible legal action against governors who oppose the mandate. He tried bribery to those districts who use the mandate, last week….oh that Joey. There was no mention on who Joey would sue in regards to the 200,000 illegal aliens heading to the Southern border monthly, spreading covid at every turn. Then he finished his teleprompter speech and immediately quick-stepped off the stage. Those on the left applauded this masterpiece. Mostly for the fact that he found the exit. It seems last week Joey had trouble finding the entrance to the White House and was found walking in some rose bushes.
KAMALA HEADS TO VIET NAM (IN SEARCH OF ROOT CAUSES)
I tried to reach out to Kamala ( she was missing for 6 days during this latest crisis), but she is planning on going over to Viet Nam. Now that she has solved the problem at the Southern border, she is on to her next taxing project. You know, sort of a work/vacation, lord knows she has earned it. Normally she is standing a couple of feet from Joe, but she has been MIA lately. Conservatives say she may start wearing a hood and will hold a sickle, while standing there. Conservatives also predict that we will most likely be at war again with Viet Nam by the end of next week. This as Kamala works on the “root causes” over there. No word if Willie Brown will be accompanying her. I can hear her hyena-like, lilting laughter from there already.
I was hoping to hear her outrage in regards what awaits the poor women left behind and the atrocities that await them for the Taliban. Shockingly, I can’t find one comment from her in regards to this. Now that I think about it, she never had a statement in regards to Andy Cuomo and his sexual escapades. Oh, that’s right she was almost speaking out daily against Justice Kavanaugh and the trumped-up lone charge against him. That seems odd, it’s almost like she has selective outrage based on what political party you are affiliated with. You know, sort of like #metoo, Time’s Up, Cher, Whoopi, Joy, Alyssa, Meryl, Sarah, Chelsea, etc, etc, etc, etc. In fairness to Kamala, she did go against her party once. When she said she believed Tara Reade and her claims against Joey during the debate. This, in addition to implying Joey is a racist in his regards to busing de-segregation, also during the debate. You know when Joey said, “he didn’t want his kids to grow up in a racial jungle.” Look at them now though #1 and #2, working side by side for the once greatest country in the world. President Trump is a racist!
Joey, always putting America’s best interest in the forefront, eh Deano? He couldn’t have done it without CNN, The Washington Post, MSNBC, Hollywood, social media, late night “comedian’s”, etc. But special thanks to you Mr. Dean Baquet, executive editor at The NY Times, your coverage of Joey and politics in general are always so well balanced and objective. Yep, no hidden agenda for you guys….it is right out there in the open! So you all should all take a bow, because in actuality, you all had a hand in what is going on in Afghanistan, as well as the great state that our own nation is in, in a short 7 months. Incredible accomplishments in so short a time. Bravo Deano, to a job well done. Your journalistic integrity is beyond reproach!
Finally to put the country at ease, National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan said they have been in touch with the Taliban (extreme terrorist organization), and they said “they will provide safe passage for civilians to evacuate.” When told that they have already started whipping, beating and killing civilians, he said “they will reach out again to the Taliban.” So, we can now rest easy, especially if we have loved ones over there, either military or civilians.
I wonder for just a second what Pelosi, Schumer, Joy Behar, Stevie Colbert or even you Deano , who remain silent, would have to say if this was uttered by Trump’s Security Advisor. The term hypocritical, biased, soulless political hacks comes to mind.
©Political Satire by Christopher Cirino. All rights reserved.