Instead Of Kryptonite, New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns

BURBANK, CA—The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.

“I’ll finally defeat Superman! He’s such a liberal snowflake!” says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. “I’m non-binary! It should be ‘THEY is such a snowflake!’ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.

“We are so proud to break new ground with this stunning, brave, totally expected, and culturally fashionable change to the Superman character,” said writer Tom Taylor. “We look forward to selling dozens and dozens of copies.”


Due To Supply Shortages, Husbands May Need To Begin Shopping For Christmas Presents Prior To December 24 This Year

Here Are 10 Babylon Bee Jokes Explained (Just In Case You Don’t Get Them)

Katie Couric Admits She Edited Interview To Remove Part Where RBG Said ‘Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself’

Bernie Retires As His Vision Of Making The U.S. Just Like Venezuela Has Finally Been Realized

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *