Unvaccinated Man Feeling Left Out As All His Vaccinated Friends Have COVID

CLEVELAND, OH—Local unvaccinated man Chuck Dornley is feeling very left out this holiday season, as all his vaccinated friends have now contracted COVID.

“Maybe I should have just gotten vaccinated,” said Dornley. Then I’d have COVID like everyone else and I and my vaccinated friends would have something to talk about. Now I’m all by myself feeling healthy. Such a bummer!”

Dornley said to reporters that he also felt left out several months ago when he got COVID himself, and everyone was calling him a “grandma killer.” He hopes that once everything gets back to normal, he can go back to feeling left out for being a Cleveland Browns fan.

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