18 Things That Lasted Longer Than CNN+

CNN+ will be shutting down on April 30, just a month after its rocky start. Truly, its candle burned out long before its legend ever will.

Take a gander at these eighteen things that lasted longer than CNN+:

1) A gallon of milk

2) Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign

3) Two weeks to stop the spread

4) Firefly

5) Housefly

6) Brief, transitory inflation

7) Seattle’s CHAZ

8) The ending of Return of the King

9) Your wife’s multi-level marketing business

10) Colin Kaepernick’s enslavement in the NFL

11) Your New Year’s resolution to get in shape

12) Your New Year’s resolution to read your Bible

13) Free AOL trial CD with 1000 hours of internet

14) The COVID vaccine’s effectiveness

15) Zune

16) Google+

17) James Cameron’s Avatar‘s cultural impact

18) The Babylon Bee’s Twitter suspension

Wow! It seems like just yesterday CNN Plus was born, and now she’s already gone. Like a leaf on the wind. Babylon Bee subscriber Jamin D contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.