Report: Zero Males Affected As Feminists Go On Sex Strike

NEW YORK, NY—After feminists around the country vowed to stop having sex, men across the nation have remained blissfully unaware anything has changed.

“Huh? Who stopped having sex?” responded every man told of the development. “Wow, I had no idea. Good for them, I guess?”

The so-called ‘sex strike’ had been launched by leftist women in response to the potential overturning of Roe v. Wade. “The right is trying to create this dystopian world where sex has some connection to pregnancy and babies,” explained pro-abortion protester Lona Malachi. “Pregnancy is basically making a woman your slave, just like in The Handmaid’s Tale. So as long as sex has anything to do with babies, we simply won’t have it!” she exclaimed, before attempting to inhale air without taking in oxygen.

Despite the clarion call for an end to sex from female media personalities and politicians, surveys have shown that absolutely zero men have been affected. “Our research indicates the strike has not hit the intended target,” said sociology professor Sharon Young. “The nation’s cats, however, have reported a general increase in angry yelling by their owners.”

At publishing time, liberals were calling for a hunger strike until it becomes legal for doctors to suck food out of your stomach so eating doesn’t risk leading to digestion.


This man shared misinformation online, so the Ministry of Truth — err, sorry, the Disinformation Governance Board — detained him for questioning. Will he stand strong in the face of torture?

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube


RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE ARTICLES:

Biden Repeats False Claim He Once Had An Abortion

Worried About Roe Getting Overturned? Avoid Getting Pregnant With This One Foolproof Trick!

JK Rowling Says She Always Imagined The White House Press Secretary As A Gay Black Woman

Dunkin’ Donuts Opens New Sprinklin’ Donuts For Presbyterians

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by The Babylon Bee is republishing with permission. ©All rights reserved.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *