12 Red Flags That Will Prevent You From Buying A Firearm
In light of recent shootings, Congress is considering red flag laws they’ve secretly been wanting to pass for decades. This means that even though you have a right to bear arms guaranteed by the US Constitution, they can make exceptions based on a list of criteria they come up with—namely, red flags.
Here are twelve red flags that will prevent you from buying a firearm if congress has its way:
1) You are applying to purchase a firearm: Ew! You want to buy a gun? MAJOR red flag there.
2) You once shared a Babylon Bee article on Facebook: You’re probably on the no-fly list already.
3) You don’t support the current thing in your Twitter bio: YOU BIGOT.
4) You’re Joe Biden’s bicycle: Attempts on the President’s life will not be tolerated.
5) You’re a Vietnam vet just passing through town until the local police push you too far: They drew first blood!
6) You once called in a chopper with your 7-kill streak on Call Of Duty: You monster.
7) You think RoboCop is the good guy: He shoots literally everyone.
8) You think Jan 6 was bad but not anywhere close to 9/11: Some real insurrectionist vibes here.
9) You still drive a vehicle that runs on gasoline: People who murder the planet always move on to murdering humans.
10) You didn’t kneel and worship the pride flag when the trumpets played: It’s the furnace for you, friend.
11) You know Pi to 11 places but you only know the first 4 letters of LGBTQIA2S…: You’re clearly not compassionate enough to follow proper gun safety protocols.
12) You oppose red flag laws: This one is pretty obvious. Always support controversial government policy without question.
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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.
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