4 of the Biggest Challenges Facing Parents — and What to Do about Them

Raising kids in today’s radically evolving culture isn’t for the faint of heart. Younger and younger parents are realizing that their children are being exposed to ideas and people that never crossed our minds at their age. Things like: How many genders are there? Am I racist because I’m white? Am I hopelessly disadvantaged because I’m not? “Leading our kids through a world we’re trying to understand ourselves as parents isn’t simple,” FRC’s Joseph Backholm acknowledged. How should moms and dads confront this moral revolution and emerge with kids whose faith and convictions are intact?

First, Andrew Walker insists, we have to identify the challenges. He and his wife Christian, authors of “What Do I Say When? A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos,” want to help parents think about these issues in a way that’s accessible and practical. Recently, the dean of Theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary stopped by the “Outstanding” podcast to point out the landmines families face and what to do about them.

1. An Increasingly Secular Culture

This isn’t your grandma’s America — or even your mom’s. The world is a different place than it was when most of us were growing up, Backholm pointed out. Walker couldn’t agree more. “And I’m not just saying that like an old fogey like, ‘Oh, things were so much better in my day.’ I really do sense that there’s been a substantive moral revolution. I graduated college in 2008. That’s seven years before Obergefell, right? … So, yeah, we do live in a different moral era. It’s not just a different moral decade. It’s a different moral era, where all of those assumptions that you and I could have taken for granted in our culture are no longer the case.”

And while Americans, based on the elections, have woken up to the dangers facing our society and our children, they need to resist the temptation to think that indoctrination or woke ideology won’t affect them. There’s this dangerous mentality out there that’s leading Christian parents to think, “It’s not going to happen to my kids.” If you live in a conservative state or community and send your kids to a faith-based school, that’s great. But it’s not enough to protect them from the slippery slope of our degenerate culture. Parents don’t have the luxury of being reactive. They have to be proactive in instilling their biblical worldview and values.

2. A Lack of Preparation and Courage

As Backholm pointed out, most parents today “didn’t equip [themselves] for battle, because we did not grow up in a battle. Therefore, we are not presently prepared to equip others for battle.” Even 20 years ago, both men agreed, the public school system and U.S. colleges weren’t nearly as hostile to conservative Christian beliefs as they are now.

“If you are parents roughly [our] age, you grew up in a [world] where you could assume certain cultural norms that were vaguely reminiscent [of] Christian norms,” Walker said. “… So I’m going to operate from the assumption that you feel overwhelmed and that you feel ill-equipped. And I think that then leads into that second problem, which is a lack of courage — that you feel like you’re facing kind of a secular tsunami, and you actually don’t have anything substantively to say to push back on this culture. And if I can really be honest with you, one of [my] driving passions … is for Christians to go on offense.”

As researcher and Family Research Council Senior Fellow George Barna has found, “Most parents have no plan for what they’re going to do to raise their children up. Less than 10% of them have any kind of spiritual development plan for their children. And that includes worldview development. And then when you look at the parents themselves, what we know is that only 2% of parents in America today actually have a biblical worldview.” In other words, “You can’t give what you don’t have. So we’re in a situation where we’ve got a lot of parents who are winging it.”

The solution, he insists, isn’t reading a million parenting books. It’s reading one: God’s word. Even if you just spent 10-15 minutes a day in the Scripture, he urges, that’s enough. “The first step is basically adopting a plan of action so that you’re systematically in the word of God. … Get [it] into your mind that your primary job in life is to raise your children to know love and serve God with all their heart, mind, strength, and soul. That is one of the things that you will be judged upon. … And so, [we] need to make sure that my children are pursuing that as well.”

In his studies and surveys, Barna has found that “parents [who] had a spiritual and worldview development plan are much more effective at raising spiritual champions. Those who are consistent with their children over the course of the 15 to 20 years they have their children [are] much more effective [at] building deep relationships with their children, which means investing a lot of time. But when you’re doing it, [you’re] not always telling them what to do or to think,” he advised, “but spending time listening to what the child is saying so that you can respond appropriately, knowing where you want to take them, hearing where they’re at, and then bringing them forward to a different place and making sure that the Bible is the foundation of your conversations.”

He found that these conversations are best centered around real-world events or examples of what your children are going through in life. “Relate biblical principles to those stories.” Don’t beat them over the head with God’s word, Barna urges, “but by asking them questions about what they believe, why they believe it, what they did, why they did it, asking if they’re familiar with different biblical principles. Do they think that might have worked in the situation? Those kinds of conversations are so critical.” But he warned, “None of it will take root, we discovered, unless you as a parent model that in your own life. That’s part of that consistency element, which was so critical.”

3. A Misunderstanding of Discipleship

One of the biggest mistakes moms and dads can make, the duo explained, is outsourcing your responsibility to parent. That didn’t necessarily happen overnight, Walker pointed out. “If your upbringing was like mine, it was the idea that discipleship is something that a youth pastor does. You offload that [duty] to Wednesday night and Sunday night. And the parents — all they’re expected to do is to bring their children to church on Sunday and Wednesday.”

Obviously, bringing your kids to church is one of the best things you can do. “That’s putting you way above a deficit from what we have today at this point.” But, Walker said, we have this misguided notion that if “the culture really isn’t that antagonistic to your faith, you don’t feel that you have to take the time and energy to build in reinforcements.”

That was a bigger deal in the 1980s and 1990s, he agreed. And it’s not like youth groups or church activities are bad. “But there has to be a higher degree of fortification” that comes from the home. There’s been a change of heart lately, he believes, where parents are more conscientious about this. “… At least in my world of Southern Baptist life, I get the sense that … evangelical parents my age, they do have more eyes wide open than perhaps [our] parents did. And I don’t say that to criticize our generation of parents, simply because that’s the culture that they grew up in. But there has been … a positive awakening, so to speak.”

4. Underestimating Technology’s Influence

This is a tricky issue for a lot of parents, both men acknowledged. Christian moms and dads, especially, wrestle with whether they should have a blanket ban on social media and cell phones or trust their kids to be mature enough emotionally and spiritually to handle the content flying at them on their own.

It’s such a difficult challenge for parents to navigate, Backholm admitted. At some point, “We have to [trust our] kids’ guidance and their ability to assess these things enough to say, ‘Is this a value to my life? … Is this enriching my spiritual life? Is this making me who God made me want to be, or who God intends me to be? Or is this not?”

But Walker’s advice, especially for parents who aren’t taking away technology early on, is doing their homework on what protections are available to them already. “Here’s my insight that I would have for listeners: Most parents don’t utilize [the controls on their children’s phones]. They simply don’t. Those controls are powerful, and they’re there.” As his teenage daughter gets older, he and Christian adapt and adjust what she can see. “She gets a little bit more leeway and room with that phone” as she grows, rather than seeing it as an all-or-nothing concept.

In technology, or anything that could have a negative influence on their lives, “It should be understood by our kids that when we say no, that’s because we’re saying yes to something better. That all of the pleasures and joys that the world offers are counterfeits, and they don’t actually deliver on their promise. And we say no to licentiousness. We say no to dishonesty. We say no to greed. We say no to corruption, because we’re saying yes to virtue and self-control and diligence and long-term gratification that comes from just obedience.”

Ultimately, Walker went on, “It’s seeing parenting not, I think, primarily as rules-focused, but as prudence-focused and principles-focused. Because oftentimes a hyper-focus on rules — ‘do this, don’t do that’ — isn’t teaching your children practical wisdom, right? It’s not teaching them how to interact in the world, how to make good decisions. And so, if you go with this approach that lends itself more towards prudence and practical reason and wisdom, I think that’s a much safer bet. And I think that that kind of works with that dimmer switch analogy rather than the hard on/off switch analogy.”

Encouragement for Parents

At the end of the day, Walker emphasized, the goal of Christian parenting is to really train them up and send them out. And a successful Christian parent will be one who has taught their children emotional maturity, social maturity, [and] has demonstrated in the home a walk with the Lord that’s integrated with the church. Ideally, they are brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. There’s been a salvation experience. There’s discipleship occurring in the home. And when they turn 18, it’s sad, but it’s a natural kind of letting go because they’re ready. And I think that a healthy Christian parent is going to be one that as the parents age, the grip loosens a little bit, and you’re letting them experience the world.”

In the meantime, he urged, pray for their obedience. Pray for their wisdom, their gentleness, their kindness, and their ability to put Christ first in their life. When they leave the house, pray that they surround themselves with godly friends and understand the church as something central to their lives. Then, when you’ve done all you can do, leave the rest with the ultimate Father: God.

AUTHOR

Suzanne Bowdey

Suzanne Bowdey serves as editorial director and senior writer at The Washington Stand.

EDITORS NOTE: This Washington Stand column is republished with permission. All rights reserved. ©2025 Family Research Council.

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