Critically Thinking About Life: Two Questions that we ALL have to answer

Being a good parent is an extremely challenging job. Being a loving, competent parent to teenagers is worthy of a medal.

I tell people who are struggling with two or three kids that my parents had nine (9) — so things could be a LOT worse! Of course, I was the #1 child, so they caught a BIG break as I took on the role of being a third parent. I didn’t volunteer to do this — or want to do it — but it was what needed to be done. Long story.

I ascribe to John Rosemond’s recommendation for parents to tell their children “because I said so.” when parental direction is questioned. However, during the teenage years, some more complex issues inevitably come up. The answer “because I said so” should then gradually transition to a more adult-to-adult relationship. Of course, there is rarely a clear sign as to exactly when that should happen, so some trial and error is necessary.

As the adults in the family, we should have done critical thinking about Life, so that we are fully prepared to discuss deeper matters with our progeny.

Fundamental Question #1

Likely the most pivotal question is: “What happens when we die?”

It is not macabre to reflect on a reality that 100% of us will sooner or later experience. Shrugging it off by saying “I don’t know” is irresponsible and not the mark of a Critical Thinker. Of course, it is improbable that we can scientifically prove anything, so the question is: what is our best guess?

Whatever the answer is, it will have enormous consequences for how we live our lives. As such, we need to give this question our FULL attention. Likewise, we need our children to do the same. A quality parent will facilitate an open, non-judgmental discussion of this with their teenagers.

Of course, the parents’ ACTIONS must be consistent with their WORDS, if they expect their children to want to adopt their views. Children, especially teenagers, are amazingly adept at recognizing hypocrisy.

Parents should be acutely aware that their children are getting an answer to this question in US public schools. Despite their claim of not promoting any religion, atheism is what is typically communicated, and it is a religion.

FYI: My answer is that I believe that we will be asked two key questions: 1) What did we do with the Talents we were given, and 2) What did we do with the Opportunities we were provided?

Fundamental Question #2

“How do we determine what is right and wrong?”

This is a daily matter, as this question comes up continually, and it involves an exceptionally wide spectrum of issues — from health to happiness.

Of course, we rarely stop and do Critical Thinking when we are at the junction of a moral choice, as most decisions are made instinctively. But where did our instincts come from?

It is an exceptionally important parental responsibility: to see that their children are so saturated with a value system that it becomes instinctual. Once again, ACTIONS are necessary to give credence to WORDS.

As with question #1, US public schools are again in conflict. In this situation, what is being communicated to K-12 students is relativism — which basically denies that there are any standards (e.g., Judeo-Christian) and says that it is entirely up to the individual to determine what is right and wrong.

Apply this to tens of millions of people who have no Critical Thinking ability, and it immediately explains almost every social deviance we are experiencing.

Two Examples of the 2nd Question

Let’s look at two teenager situations and how they answer question #2…

1 – Jill, a 16-year-old girl is struggling with self-image and hormonal challenges. Due to these, plus dietary lapses, she is putting on some weight — which just compounds her stress.

Then a thoughtless social media message is widely circulated by some mean, insensitive girl: “Jill is ballooning up — maybe she’s preggo?”

Jill is faced with question #2: What should she do here? There is no simple, easy answer, so it comes down to how solid her foundational value system is. The more tenuous it is, the more likely this will spiral out of control.

2 – Robby, a 12-year-old boy, is reasonably well adjusted. Maybe it’s because he has yet to be immersed in hormones — or maybe he is a genuine good egg.

His mom says that she would like him to go to church on Sunday with her. He resists as his friends portray this as being wimpy, and the service strikes him as being boring. He also doesn’t see any point to it. Lastly, his dad doesn’t go, so he senses hypocrisy — plus an issue where he can split the parents.

Robby is also faced with question #2: what’s the right thing to do? How does he resolve this inner conflict: wanting to please his mom, but not wanting to be played as an easy mark? The answer again comes down to what Robby’s value system is.

If he had been educated in K-12 (and home) to be a Critical Thinker, he would weigh these conflicting thoughts and come up with a mature resolution. Without that skill, it will be up to the parents to help him learn processes for resolving such inner conflicts.

One way to do this would be to put this situation into a short-term vs long-term context. For example, picking a service that is more entertaining would be a short-term choice. On the other hand, choosing a service that has more substance would be a long-term benefit. Which is more important?

The Bottom Line

Regarding the second question, it is inescapable that every one of us will make such choices, numerous times. How solid our value system is, plus how much Critical Thinking that we apply, will make a world of difference.

If, in answering the first question, we believe that eternity is at stake, then there is no way to overstate the importance of getting these two questions right.

©2026 John Droz, Jr. All rights reserved.

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