Entries by The Peoples Cube

Merger of Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies approved by President Obama

Galactic News, Stardate – 308582.5: Today the Justice Department, along with the Commerce, Transportation, Treasury, and various other alphabetical departments have announced the approval of the biggest merger in history: of the Andromeda Galaxy and our own Milky Way. “This has been in the works since the early days of Obama’s presidency,” said Ivana Suyu, Justice Department […]

Obama Trades All Remaining Gitmo Detainees for Magic Beans

On the heels of his widely-praised exchange of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five captured Taliban commanders, which Democratic strategists are comparing to trading General George Patton for five taxi drivers, President Obama went them one better and swapped all remaining Guantanamo detainees for a bag of magic beans. In announcing the trade, Secretary of State […]

Maya Angelou was truly the Barack Obama of poetry

In a touching tribute to the recently deceased celebrated poet, Maya Angelou, president Barack Obama didn’t spare elevated epithets, praising her as “the Barack Obama of poetry” and taking a few ceremonial selfies with his cell phone, having the poet’s portrait as the backdrop. The portrait behind Barack Obama features the politically correct depiction of […]

Facts Suggest Vets Delayed Own Tests to Make Obama Look Bad

After the recent revelation of long wait times and delays in care at VA hospitals shocked the nation, congressional Democrats from both houses and independent journalists undertook their own investigation to determine the cause of the problem. What they found was shocking: evidence of a coordinated conspiracy among numerous ill veterans to avoid seeking medical […]

All Home Intruders are White Men, Alarm Companies Say

Just when we thought the rash of Scandinavian youths knocking out poor minorities couldn’t get any worse, it turns out that white men are now knocking off innocent homeowners. How do we know this? Commercials. Commercials tend to reflect the state of affairs in customers’ lives. That’s why it’s noteworthy that alarm companies are using the marketing […]

#DoNotRidiculeHashTagDiplomacy

It has come to my attention that #hastagdiplomacy is being actively ridiculed and parodied by right wing, knuckle dragging, Busheois TEA Party neanderthals. Well, this time the joke’s on them. That’s right, #hashtagdiplomacy has a proud history in America and it gets results. For example, this picture of General MacArthur looking concerned after being ordered […]