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Grand Opening: AirEbola Airlines

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Have you ever wanted to see what it feels like to have your body consumed by Ebola? 

Have you ever wanted to fly right to the source of a disease outbreak, so you can suffer alongside the Third World? 

Have you ever thought, “It’s not fair that I don’t have Ebola just because of my white privilege?”

If so, you’re in luck! Don’t wait another 21 days for Ebola to fully infect America. Fly to west Africa and pre-infect yourself, now!

Announcing the all-new AirEbola: Nonstop flights for Ebola tourists are available to Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone from multiple cities in America.

Any privileged white American can sacrifice themselves for the original sin of slavery by flying straight to the source of the outbreak.

Meander with the locals, hang out at the hospital, and get sneezed on by an Ebola victim. Once infected, you are free to fly back to America and bring the disease to your privileged white family. (Just don’t tell customs agents that you have a fever.)

AirEbola is not just the name of the airline: Ebola particles are actually floating through the air on the plane, deposited by previous Ebola tourists. You can quadruple your chances of becoming infected by flying our airline. No cleaning crews are hired by AirEbola, so the plane is extra dirty for your guilty pleasures.

Experience the sophisticated, bumper-sticker-quality insights while flying AirEbola:

– Celebrate Ebola equality!
– Ebola Without Borders: Support free and open spread of pestilence!
– Practice Ebola Tolerance: America’s Ebola is no better than anyone else’s!
– Ebola Amnesty: America should get Ebola too!
– Ebola for All: Now whites can also suffer!
– No Justice, No Cure! Ebola as slavery revenge!
– ☪☯∑Xi∫† with ∑ßΩL∆!

The cost of your flight to catch Ebola includes an extra fee for carbon offsets to negate the effect of global warming caused by your flight to Africa. Not only can you catch Ebola to avenge slavery, but you can support the global environment, all at once.

AirEbola promotes spread of the disease so more people can expire quickly. The existence of fewer people will result in fewer carbon emissions for the planet.

AirEbola is the official airline of the DNC. Vote Democrat to increase the spread of Ebola! Use the hashtag#Dems4Ebola to show your support!