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Can Socialist Monopoly compete with Capitalist Monopoly?

We all know how the game of Capitalist Monopoly works: one player wins and the rest lose, at least until the next round. But what if you are a permanent loser? That is unfair. The most obvious solution to this crisis is to remake the rules in your favor.

Brilliant minds among the loser community have made repeated attempts to make new rules that would allow them to become winners. They mostly ended up with appointing one of the players to be a dictator (usually themselves), who promises to redistribute everything on the board equally so that everyone wins. The dictator appoints assistants and together they become the government. For this plan to work, the government must forcibly take over all the property on the game board. Thus the government becomes a monopolist and the sole big winner. All the others become perpetual lesser winners: equal among themselves, but not equal to the government and its officials. Let’s broadly describe it as Socialist Monopoly.

But not all the state-run rental properties on the board are equal, so the game goes on. Now the selection of winners becomes wholly dependent on a player’s personal relationship with the government. Those who are not the relatives or good friends with the government, become losers. The latter can still stay in the game by participating in an intricate system of bribes, kickbacks, and exchange of favors. Those unwilling to play by these rules become the ultimate losers and are despised by everybody. Usually they are the people who would previously win in Capitalist Monopoly.

When all the redistribution has been completed, Socialist Monopoly becomes a really boring and tedious game. The government deflects the growing dissatisfaction by adding a new rule: all players must blame the former winners of Capitalist Monopoly for sabotage and obstructionism. After all the said former winners quit and leave the table, the interest in the game is sustained with the help of cheap vodka, which also helps to suppress mutual resentment and hatred. The game ends when all players, including the government, lose all motivation to go on, or fall under the table into a puddle of their own vomit, whichever comes first.

The most common explanation for the failures of Socialist Monopoly is that the brilliant minds of the loser community simply haven’t got it right yet. This gives everyone hope that someday there will appear a sharper, more brilliant loser who will get it right.

And so the dream lives on, about a game where everyone can be an equal winner while still being able to enjoy the game without ending up hating everyone else, sending the most successful players to jail, and falling under the table in a drunken stupor.

Thus, the efforts to reinvent Capitalist Monopoly never stop. Below are just some failed examples. Will you take the challenge and create a game of Socialist Monopoly that actually works?

Progressive Monopoly

Monopoly_Socialist.jpg
Communist Monopoly

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Socialist Monopoly with lines – Polish style

Monopoly_Communist_Poland.jpgAnd so on…

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

Dad, the Dems, the Prospector and His Old Friend

My 86 year old preacher dad told me a great story. Surprisingly, it was a new parable rather than one dad forgot that he told me numerous times before.

Dad said a prospector worked his land digging for gold. Every Saturday, the prospector would take his gold/gold dust to town and cash it in. One Saturday, he bumped into an old high school friend who had fallen upon hard financial times. The prospector graciously invited his friend to bring a shovel and dig for gold on his land. Generously, the prospector told his friend that he could keep all the gold he uncovered.

Come Monday morning, the prospector’s friend was a no show. The friend did not show up the entire week. Cashing in his gold on Saturday, the prospector saw and approached his friend, “What happened? I looked for you all week.” The friend replied, “Do you know how much a shovel costs these days?”

Dad burst into laughter at the trifling attitude of the prospector’s old friend. I laughed with dad while seizing the opportunity to tell my lifelong Democrat father that the same trifling attitude is promoted by the Democrats disguised as compassion and is embraced by millions.

The prospector’s behavior is Republican, offering his impoverished friend (the poor), not a handout, but a golden opportunity. He offered his friend the dignity, self-respect and joy of earning his own living with endless possibilities. Remember, the old friend was told he could keep all the gold he uncovered.

The old friend’s behavior is that of an Obama, Democrat, Hollywood and MSM (mainstream media) indoctrinated entitlement junkie. How dare his rich prospector friend expect him to acquire a shovel. The prospector is obviously white, out-of-touch, racist, sexist and homophobic. This prospector seems like the kind of jerk who thinks it reasonable to expect all Americans to show an ID to participate in the American privilege of voting.

Upon further investigation, the filthy rich SOB prospector is probably Republican, Conservative and Christian. No wonder the insensitive selfish hate-filled jerk prospector expected his old high school friend to get a shovel without government assistance and show up for work.

Folks, the Democratic Party would place the prospector’s old friend who lacked the initiative to acquire a shovel on a level just below sainthood, considering him to be the victim/hero in the story. This is the way Democrats view minorities and the poor; expecting very little, refusing to hold them accountable for any of their socioeconomic woes.

As a mater of fact, the less initiative and self-reliance the better. Democrats simply keep the barely-enough-to-get-by handouts coming, gin up class envy and hatred for the prospector; and promise to punish him. Their sheep who are in sync with their master’s voice continue to vote Democrat.

If you dare suggest that people stop defrauding the government with false food stamp and disability claims; that blacks stop dropping out of school, shooting each other in epidemic numbers and stop having babies out of wedlock, the Democrats will vilify you. Their response is “Easy for you to say” you racist insensitive jerk.

The Democratic Party advocates lowering the bar culturally, morally and in every area of American life. The Left/Democrats deem any suggestion of holding people to a standard as mean-spirited, racist, judgmental and dare I say, Christian.

Back to the prospector — the Left would argue that because the dirt road to the town where the prospector cashed in his gold was etched by wagon-wheels, horses and the foot steps of many, the mayor should confiscate the prospector’s gold and share it with everyone.

Remember when Obama scolded small business owners for taking pride in building their businesses? Obama said, “You didn’t build that.” Obama claimed that government built roads providing infrastructure for business to operate, thus making it only fair that he redistribute wealth. Deadbeats like the prospector’s old friend stood up and cheered, “Obama!..Obama!”

Clearly, the prospector, the Republican, is the good guy in my dad’s story. He showed real compassion for his old high school friend by offering him a “hand up” rather than a “handout”.

By addicting as many Americans as possible to government assistance, Democrats increase their political power. Their tried and true tactic is to brand the prospector as the devil, kick him in the teeth and encourage their ill-informed duped base to do the same. Insidiously evil.

For this reason, I am a black conservative/Republican.