Since the election of Donald Trump, there have been various forms of protest from feminists. Since they see Trump as the ultimate anti-feminist, they feel compelled to take rebellious personal action against his presidency. These protests have taken the form of screaming fits, shaving one’s head, perpetually wearing a mask, and an upsurge in what is called the 4B movement.

It’s the 4B movement that intrigues me the most. This movement originated in South Korea some years ago in response to what some saw as mistreatment of women by men and by society at large.

Here is the 4B movement in a nutshell. 4B refers to the four Korean words bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae and bisekseu, which translate to no marriage, no childbirth, no dating, and no sex with men. The idea is for women to protect themselves and presumably punish men by withholding sex and refusing to couple with men in any way.

Are all men evil?

One proponent of the 4B movement—who has been living the 4B lifestyle for over two years—says hookup culture has been dangerous and disastrous to women and that it’s time to right the boat. Amen, sister.

But she goes further saying “men are evil” and that women should “decentre men” in their lives. As a victim of what sounds like a horribly manipulative relationship, one might understand why she thinks men are “evil.” Because some of them are.

But can we really paint half of the human race with such a broad, condemnatory brush? Are all men evil? (I can name 15 men on my street alone who don’t quality as evil.) And is the solution for all women everywhere to refuse marriage, family, sex, and children?

If taken to its logical conclusion, that would mean the end of life as we know it.

Perhaps there’s a more nuanced—and more obvious—solution. And perhaps this solution has been around for a very long time, even carved on stone tablets millennia ago. This is it: Stop having sex with evil, manipulative, men who are not committed to you, body and soul, for life.

This is what best protects women. It protects women from predatory men, sexual disease, unwanted pregnancies, damaging emotional entanglements, poverty, single motherhood, and being coerced to eliminate one’s own children in the womb—which can lead to greater difficulties including depression, anxiety, guilt, remorse, and suicidality.

Even in a culture that upholds sexual exclusivity (which we no longer are), yes, rape may still exist and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. And no, not all marriages that start out well end well. But refusing to have sex with a man until you have thoroughly vetted him, tested his moral fabric, discerned and discussed your life goals and his life goals, assessed his deep and abiding love for you, and required him to consent to sex with you (and only you) on conditions of the lifelong commitment we call marriage, is the best way to protect yourself from “evil men.”

The ruby slippers

All this has been known for as long as sentient beings have considered the consequences of their actions. But with the advent and resurgence of the 4B movement, it’s as if a whole generation of women who have relied on abortion to save them from unwanted pregnancies and from the foul actions of lame men are suddenly waking up and realizing, “Hey! I can do something about this! I can say NO to men who don’t have my best interests at heart! I don’t have to have sex with every creepy guy on every creepy dating app who comes along!”

This is a welcome revelation. It’s a bit like Dorothy realizing she’s been wearing the ruby slippers all along.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. And according to Jordan Peterson (see here and here), women are picky maters. This puts women in a position of power. When women were sold the line that random sex with random men was empowering, they lost perhaps the greatest leverage they have: deciding who gets to have sex with whom. And guess what? Men will do a great deal to be able to access a woman sexually. A good man will even commit to a woman for life and vow to support the children she bears for life if that is what’s required of him. So let’s start requiring it. Again. Like has been done in every successful civilization since the dawn of time.

So, yes, 4B women of the world, you’re on to something. Say no to sex with evil men.

But don’t forget that there are good men out there. And one of them might be worth building a life with. If you refuse all men forever, you just might end up desperately clutching your covers around you in your old age when there is no one left to love you except your Bingo partner in the sterile care facility you’ve been relegated to.

But, if you persist until you find that diamond in the rough, you just might find a life of joy, purpose, fulfillment, companionship, and love that ripples through generations, keeps you warm in the twilight of your life, and, in the meantime, brings you unparallelled happiness you could barely have imagined.

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Is the 4B movement realistic? Leave a comment below.

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AUTHOR

Kimberly Ells

Kimberly Ells is the author of The Invincible Family. Follow her at Invincible Family Substack.

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