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Anarchist Meets Governor at Starbucks, Demands Medicaid

GAINESVILLE, FL – Poverty-stricken anarchist Cara Jennings received a healthy dose of government oppression yesterday when wealthy Florida Governor Rick Scott strode into the Starbucks she was patronizing and began yelling at her about jobs.

Video footage [below] of the incident shows a wild and frantic Scott standing over Jennings and screaming about the “million jobs” he helped create since being elected in 2011. As beggared victim Jennings calmly tried to explain that the Governor “cut Medicaid so [she] couldn’t get Obamacare,” Scott unleashed a barrage of profanities.

The video goes on to show the governor rummaging through Jennings’ purse searching for birth control pills to steal, while Jennings helplessly points out that Scott “stripped women of access to public health care,” referencing the bill he signed days ago defunding Planned Parenthood. Her noble plea for sanity was met with flying spittle and sexist conservative talking points as the governor, who is wealthy because Jennings is penniless, threw Jennings’ Starbucks latte to the floor.

Jennings chose to leave the café rather than face continued abuse from Scott. She later posted on her Facebook page “This is why I’m an anarchist. Government needs to just give everyone medical care and abortions, and some other things I’ve had my eye on, and leave us alone.”

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by Kilroy originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.